Fiance's anxiety is driving me to the brink

Three months ago my fiance (we've been together 7 years) moved across the state from a place she has lived her entire life. Because she has anxiety and asberger's I was prepared to deal with her having difficult adjusting, but it's gotten to the point where I can't even handle it.

She has had one job since we've been here and lasted four days before she had a 'mental breakdown'. As much as I know and support the fact that she has mental issues a large part of me feels like it was completely faked simply so she could get out o the job without me being angry.

I took her to three doctors and agreed to let her quit the job so she can get better, and recently she has been anxious about literally everything. Even things that are completely made up. I just got an interview for a very good job that would take a lot of strain off of us financially and she has a therapy meeting on monday and yet today she starts telling me she's 'terrified of next week'. Nothing is happening next week except for my interview and her therapy (which she has been in for the last two years).

I don't know what the h*** to do with her. Nothing helps and her anxiety has NEVER been this bad. I get she's in a new place but this is getting f****** ridiculous. Especially when she has days where she feels 'guilty' for quitting her job when I told her for weeks it was a bad idea. She just feeds into whatever anxiety she gets and expects me to be understanding and supportive, but I've had enough. I have to cook, clean, take care of her/the dogs, drive her EVERYWHERE, and on top of that I'm the only one working. Again.

I love her but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

Aug 24, 2014

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  • Why are you getting married ? I can see the future if you get married you will be stuck in a unhappy marriage stop before you get married your not doing anyone any good by getting married . Is she on meds ? She must of been ok for 7 years with her or did you just not see how bad it really was until you moved ?

    My advise call off the wedding unless you want to have a toxic wife keep her . Mental illness dose not go away if anything it gets worse over the years so have fun with that !

  • Of course, you care for her, love her and don't want to hurt her but at some point you both need to be responsible and independent on your own. If she refuses to get help, get a job.. then maybe she needs to move back home to her parents and you break it off with her. She's an aren't responsible for her. What happens if do get married and have children? And she has an episode. You can't start off a life together feeling complete resentment towards her. It won't work. Have you spoken to her parents? Do they have any advice for you?

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