I have this friend who is really weird and doesn't get along with a lot of people outside her relatives. I don't consider her a best friend per say because we have very different opinions on most topics and we have so little in common.
Yet people seem to think that I was her true best friend since I was the one who break out her awkward shell, thus making her friends with others. She also often confide me in a lot of things.
The problem is, she's been irritating me quite a lot. It starts with a whole bunch of request like " Can you compile me a list of stuff to do after graduating school? ", " Can you tell J that I can't go? ", " Can you help me with taking a picture of that sheet? I lost mine. " and whole lot of others that can easily done by her but she wanted me to do it instead. I know its stupid for being irritated but she knew that I'm busy with a part-time job and babysitting my twin baby brothers. I told her constantly that I'm busy and can't help her out, but she actually doesn't listen. She left me alone for about an hour before asking again. I direct her to her own friend and told her I get back to her in a jiffy once I'm free but she wont listen.
So because of that, I started hating her. I found even bit of her annoying. Even remembering the past makes me notice that how she'd been doing stuff that bothers me a lot. She's a rich kid but she constantly whines about how her mum wont let her be alone when family visits even if going to visit her aging grandmother. She's also oblivious to my plight when she show off her money too.
The worst is when she judged heavily on my future. I come from an average income household and due to financial problem, my options were really limited. Because of that I applied to a lot of government sponsored programs to continue my studies without burdening my parents since they have my brother to support along with my baby twin brothers. A lot of these programs have interviews and a whole bunch of stuff to do before they select you.
She constantly bombarded me with questions on how stupid my parents were for doing this to me, or how I'm too strict for a teaching, or how she said nursing doesn't suits me at all. But when I keep on my plans, she began to ask like how did the interview go, so what happened when the date of the interviews haven't even come yet. I told her this several times but she says she forget; heck i even screenshot the conversation and make it as my profile picture so her forget excuse are unusable.
She makes it sound like she wanted me to fail so badly its sickening me. I contemplated on whether i should block her or just ignore her completely, but I can't because she's my friend; or at least I thought she is.
And now because of my resentment towards her, I became so negative and went back to old bad habits. I started being afraid of people due to anxiety again, I don't even like to stare at the mirror and I went back to binge eating. I even stalk her twitter to see if she's doing bad just to rejoice in her suffering.
At the end of the end, i feel so stupid for being like this because of a friend that might not be my friend anymore. I kept on thinking of ending the friendships but then I thought what if all she's done was not as bad as I thought? What if i exaggerate everything in my mind that she's waiting me to fall? What kind of an idiot to be so down for a person?
I need to confess everything to make things clear for me, since none of my friends understand and can't help me to clear it up. They admit that its weird on how she's h*** bent on knowing my every step for my future. At first they thought she was not ready to part with me but she was focused on her future plans so theres no need to butt in mine. Ugh, thinking now she's like a two-faced hypocrite, I don't even.
I'm so afraid that she actually do this to me even though I've help her a lot and treated her like her true friend. It felt like all my efforts in getting to know her and giving her my trust felt nothing. I'm so scared I was being used.