I was dropping off my cats at my parents place and my mom caught me crying. I couldn't tell her when she asked why, that I've been spiraling down for awhile since I moved out. I've even started to hide in the basement from my roommates to hide my crying. I keep thinking of killing myself and if there wasn't going to be such backlash and bills from it, I would simply walk away and die. But I wouldn't burden them with those bills. Not when I know they're struggling. I've tried to reach out. I tried to warn someone, anyone. When I got pulled over, I tried to warn the cop, but he only grabbed his gun and got mean with me.
I just want a long hug with no questions and someone telling me it'll be alright...but that's just seeking attention. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm just so tired of pretending I'm ok.