I'm scared of him
I worked with someone I'll call JV and things seemed normal at first, but he sexually harassed me and made my life h*** for a year. He did do things that were found to be rightfully wrong, but they were not serious enough for him to be fired. As a result, I live in constant fear of him. He also did several things that were emotionally abusive after I didn't respond to his harassment in a way that he preferred and he messed with my work and retaliated against me. Yet they won't make him stay away from me. I've filed complaints officially with the State and Federal governments and I was issued right to sue letters, but I don't think I'd have enough to really pursue it. It's not even money I want. I just want him to go away and get out of my life. He wouldn't stop talking to my friends and so I had to cut some of them out. One friend seems to have been even trying to help orchestrate times where we'd "run into" each other. I don't know who to trust and I'm scared.
Yet because of the nature of the abuse, I think I'm in a betrayal bond possibly related to previous abuse from other people in my life and also because the nature of his emotional abuse. I don't think I really truly like him or anything, but I think it's a subconscious sick reaction I have from the previous abuse where the pain is equated to some kind of affection because those are my earliest memories. But he doesn't make me feel good whenever I'm near him or I see him. I want to run away the opposite direction right away and I get angry when I see him near me or anyone in my social sphere because I want to go back to my life without him and for him to go far away. He sends me into panic attacks. If this was like a movie, I'd have telepathic powers where I'd be throwing cars and trucks and everything I can in his direction to build a wall between us so that he couldn't get me. I want him to leave me alone.