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Seriously, my teen has no common sense and is so forgetful...
It's maddening! Says he's cold, complains he always has a runny nose but is constantly wearing short sleeves and no socks after getting out of the shower with wet hair. Then says, 'oh', when you point this out.
Asks for a game for his console. I buy it but for some reason it doesn't work. Why? He didn't look up the specs to check compatibility, or worse, he ordered the wrong one (Xbox game, Playstation console, or PC game, Playstation console!) Seriously.
Does his work, forgets to hand it in. Apparently this is common!
Can't find anything. Never remembers where he put something last. Is horrible at retracing steps.
Constantly complaining that there are always flies in his room, no where else in the house. Looks upset when I suggest perhaps it's probably the amount of dirty dishes he has in his room that is attracting them. Perhaps. Just maybe.
Wore a top just yesterday, can't find it today, deduces that he must have left it at his friends house. Even though he hasn't been there in nearly a month.
Locked himself out of the house too many times to mention. Always has that, 'Um', sound in his voice when he calls to let me know, and I am nowhere near home to open the door.
Hangs out with friends. They part ways to return home. He can't remember how they got there, so can't remember how to get home.
'It's muay thai today.' Great, you got your kit?... *slaps forehead*
Constantly leaving items of clothing behind in the cinema. Never remembers where he was sitting. Determines it's too embarrassing to have to be searching with the staff watching you. Decides he didn't like it anyway. Forgets he doesn't buy his own ** clothes!!!
I'm exhausted. I love him dearly. I really do. But my oh my, it's crazy.
He needs an enema. In fact, he needs several.
It seems unfair to punish him for not having common sense. Some people do and some people don't. But maybe it's something you can do where you are no longer enabling him. Give him more chores and/or responsibility, but also don't just assume he's know what actions to take in each situation. Does he currently have consequences? Are there any? For example, if he has a cell phone and he loses it. Do you purchase another? He seems to know what to do if he locks himself out of the house. You shouldn't rush home unless he's going to freeze or something because of the elements outside. He's going to hopefully be heading to college in a couple of year, or at least hopefully move out..you can't continue to rescue him. Maybe he has to learn by experience some not so nice outcomes. Maybe he needs to get a job in order to learn a little responsibility and to begin to replace the clothes he has lost or the purchases he's made in error. Or if he forgets that he has a muay thai class, he'll need to pay for it if he'd like to continue. The pot thing could be a factor here.
Thank you for replying and your suggestions. You are absolutely right. As a parent it's important to step back a great deal so he can take responsibility.
He'll always be your child and will need you, but this is for you too so you know you will sending a complete person out into the world when the time comes. He needs to find his independence and self sufficient. One who is confident and can make decision on his own. Be his teacher when you need to and also you'll be assured that you have given him the tools and the lessons to do so. Can't assume he knows how to do something. Something like doing laundry. It's an easy task, but if you've never done it before, you need a lesson. If he's not already doing so, it's time he starts. Same with cooking or doing some grocery shopping or saving and spending money. If he's going to be driving anytime soon, he needs to really be responsible. Maybe when he says he's cold, instead of telling him what he should do, ask him what he thinks he should do. Not saying he's totally helpless these are just examples, you know what he needs to work on best.
100% agree with this comment. My sister was born without common sense, but it hurts my parents too much to watch her fail, so they just run interference for her. They started when she was a teen, thinking, "she'll come out of it on her own." It's been 20 years, still living at home and being taken care of, no signs of any common sense. Only you can decide when to step back, but please do it before he hits his 20s! You don't want to end up like my parents.
Thank you for the example and advice. This really helped put things into perspective, and scared me in to recognising the truth. I do find myself jumping in to 'rescue' him (less these days but obviously enough that he still isn't getting the message) because like you said, it hurts to see him fail. But I honestly believe it will hurt more to see the damage stepping in will do to him in the long run. I will step back more.
Is he smoking pot
No he's just a ** up it has nothing to do with pot
Oi... **!! I'm the OP. ** you. He is NOT a ** up. That I know for sure. A lot of teens go through periods like this. Like the above comment suggested, it's more about consequences than anything else. I was simply venting about how stressful it all is.
My bad I'm only really against ppl who know nothing about pot blaming that sort of ** on it
No, sorry for going off on you. As an advocate for the physical health benefits of the Good Green I'm sick of people demonising it too, so I get it.
Thank you for your response. Lol. I wish it were pot then I could address it directly but like the above commenter stated, I think I need to step back a lot more than I already do and allow him to experience the true repercussions of his actions. Hopefully then we'll see change.
Sorry to hear.
Would love to be able to give them a dam good beating and enforce some discipline but unfortunately these days that's not on.