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Does anyone feel the same ?
I admit it sometimes I ** and thinking little boys but I get ** with adults.
I see children only emotionally .
I think I could fall in love with an innocent and handsome little boy but not sexually , the same with an adult .
These feelings for children came to me suddenly at my 22 years old .
Now I am 23 and I think these feelings came cause I want so much to be a child again .
I like to watch movies and series with children , I like to listen opera from little boys in church and in general I like to listen them singing , l like to hear their high sweet voice , I like to hear stories about children and I like stories that shows the power of children , I like their innocence on ** .
I like everything that is childish , fairytales , childish movies , candy , cartoons , playground , trabolin and other stuff that are childish .
I would like my body was like when I was little girl , without chest , without hair on my body , more white skin with more cuteness on my face and more happiness in my soul .
Then I was for more comfortable than now in everything .
I am getting sad when I think that everyone including myself is growing up.
I would like it if we were all children forever , I am depressed because I want to be a kid again .
When i was 18 years old i was talking on facebook with a 12 year old boy and we were talking so nice about everything .
We saw only once each other in person when i was 20 and him 14 .
His mother was there with us too .
I start to feel emotionally connected with him .
It was so cute until when he became 15 and me 21 his mother didnt want her son talk to me anymore and now he doesnt like me and block me in every account i tried to connect with him .
He said that he felt empty without me and that i was his best friend and now i suddenly dont matter to him ?
I was sad and angry at the same time because when i told him that i feel close to him and i like to talk to him i meant it .
I have not spoke with him until 24 April 2016 .
Feeling this way can be difficult .
It's difficult cause I feel inferior from other adults .
I am childish I know maybe it's not normal cause I must behave like an adult .
I miss the innocence of children , this is what I like so much about them .
I would like to see the world from a child's eyes .
I would like an adult to take care of me .
And if I knew a preteen boy has this need too I would like to help him .
If I met an childish adult with childish soul and look like myself I would liked it.
If I was not depressed and was happy inside i would easily imagine myself play with children , listening childish music together . going to a childish theatre together .
Dont go your mind somewhere vulgarity , i want to be with children as friends .
But i found out that children now days starting behave like they are older their age .
God this is repel me so much !
I feel more ''child'' that children now days .
Little girls want to grow up fast and become women and little boys want to grow up fast and become men .
Though they should be happy for being kids and so beautiful like angels and play and run happily in playgrounds and watch cartoons with an innocence in their soul .
Once a 9 year old boy when i put him to listen a childish music or watch cartoons told me ''these is for babies'' , can you believe this ? a 9 year old told this to me .
Sometimes i want to save these children , to protect them and make them children again cause i feel like a child but with more rights than the ''real biological'' children .
I want to put your little head on my chest my angel . To hug you and be my little girl .
And no your uncle's wife and daughters are not prettier than you my sweet and don't let anyone convince for things about yourself that are not true .
Hi my angel . The truth is I didn't like that your mother found out that you were running away , it's not your fault my sweet but I guess to not found out that you talk to me too . Your not brat or liar sweetheart and it's cute to have your teddy for company . But why your mother said that it's stupid ? Being childish is absolutely okay if you don't hurt anyone and you don't . Your mother makes me angry sweetie . When she saw that you were going to run away she was supposed to hug you and ask you the reason . Your mother made mistakes doesn't understand it ? I hope you can go my sweet to these boys . And if you want you can be friends with them . You absolutely can , you haven't much age difference with them . I hope you will see them naked as well my sweet . I like the idea to see them naked , it would be cute . Pastor and his wife make me angry too . If you told your mother that you are thinking of being with your father how she would react ? If you told her with crying eyes and with calm voice . If even then she hit you she is horrible . Are your friends parents so strict too ? I love you too my sweet sugar ! I like to put your head on my chest my sweetie !
Be patient my angel . Hug !
I told her mommy and told her i want too go with my daddy loads off times and she says im selfish and think off myself. I hate her mommy and im not selfish. But i dont care anymore mommy and love you. Wish you were my mommy and cuddle me like you said. Im realy sore mommy and im going too store soon. Mom does not care and says im go too learn and says im way out off hand and our pastor is going too teach me some manners when they come over later mommy. I hope mom lets me babysit on saturday mommy and my uncle texted me back and said i sure can have sleep over next week and maybe stay two or three days. But i bet my mom wont let me. I love you mommy and your kind and maybe i can spend my money on buses too you and you can keep rest off it and i can help clean up and do lots off stuff mommy. I allways do jobs at home and im realy good at cleaning. Love you mommy xxxxxx
Oh my god my sweetie your mother is horrible .
But why she is the way she is ?
She was supposed to love you and take care of you very much .
God she goes to church and its ironic and hit you and yells you and you are the one that needs to learn manners ?
Although i am 23 years old and immature for my age i think i know better to take care a child than her .
You told her you want to be with your father and she knows that your father is on paradise, and the only thing she told you was that you are selfish ?
Why ?
Selfish for being depressed ?
Selfish for loving your father ?
Selfish for your mother's mistakes ?
Your mother doesnt deserve you as her daughter .
Doesnt she afraid might you go to your father for real ?
What can i say my sweet angel ?
Words are nothing .
But you can talk to me whenever you want and i want you to remember this .
Im sorry mommy and love you.
Im sorry mommy and mom told me too get dressed for store now. But i hate her and love you mommy xxxxxx