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Does anyone feel the same ?
I admit it sometimes I ** and thinking little boys but I get ** with adults.
I see children only emotionally .
I think I could fall in love with an innocent and handsome little boy but not sexually , the same with an adult .
These feelings for children came to me suddenly at my 22 years old .
Now I am 23 and I think these feelings came cause I want so much to be a child again .
I like to watch movies and series with children , I like to listen opera from little boys in church and in general I like to listen them singing , l like to hear their high sweet voice , I like to hear stories about children and I like stories that shows the power of children , I like their innocence on ** .
I like everything that is childish , fairytales , childish movies , candy , cartoons , playground , trabolin and other stuff that are childish .
I would like my body was like when I was little girl , without chest , without hair on my body , more white skin with more cuteness on my face and more happiness in my soul .
Then I was for more comfortable than now in everything .
I am getting sad when I think that everyone including myself is growing up.
I would like it if we were all children forever , I am depressed because I want to be a kid again .
When i was 18 years old i was talking on facebook with a 12 year old boy and we were talking so nice about everything .
We saw only once each other in person when i was 20 and him 14 .
His mother was there with us too .
I start to feel emotionally connected with him .
It was so cute until when he became 15 and me 21 his mother didnt want her son talk to me anymore and now he doesnt like me and block me in every account i tried to connect with him .
He said that he felt empty without me and that i was his best friend and now i suddenly dont matter to him ?
I was sad and angry at the same time because when i told him that i feel close to him and i like to talk to him i meant it .
I have not spoke with him until 24 April 2016 .
Feeling this way can be difficult .
It's difficult cause I feel inferior from other adults .
I am childish I know maybe it's not normal cause I must behave like an adult .
I miss the innocence of children , this is what I like so much about them .
I would like to see the world from a child's eyes .
I would like an adult to take care of me .
And if I knew a preteen boy has this need too I would like to help him .
If I met an childish adult with childish soul and look like myself I would liked it.
If I was not depressed and was happy inside i would easily imagine myself play with children , listening childish music together . going to a childish theatre together .
Dont go your mind somewhere vulgarity , i want to be with children as friends .
But i found out that children now days starting behave like they are older their age .
God this is repel me so much !
I feel more ''child'' that children now days .
Little girls want to grow up fast and become women and little boys want to grow up fast and become men .
Though they should be happy for being kids and so beautiful like angels and play and run happily in playgrounds and watch cartoons with an innocence in their soul .
Once a 9 year old boy when i put him to listen a childish music or watch cartoons told me ''these is for babies'' , can you believe this ? a 9 year old told this to me .
Sometimes i want to save these children , to protect them and make them children again cause i feel like a child but with more rights than the ''real biological'' children .
And dont think my angel that the people on church dont think of ** or they have no sexual desire . Sometimes people who go on church or nuns thinking ** more often than a ** worker . And why they criticize you for doing it ? This is hypocrisy my sweet .
My moms back from our neighbours mommy and yelled for me too take a shower and too not too bother with my ** and bring my hairbrush mommy. But im not doing it mommy but im brushing my teeth mommy and its not fair. I want too live with you mommy. I hate them so much and im not listening and im realy going too curse and hit him mommy. I love you mommy xxxxxx
If i was you i would hate them too my angel
Im in bed mommy and i cant stop crying. They gave out too me and said im a selfish and disobedient little girl and am going down a bad road and needed correction and said im going too start listening too them and i said no mommy and mom smacked me and then said that our pastor was going to take me into sitroom and deal with me mommy and i said he cant and im not going and our pastor smacked my bottom and said move now madam and I slapped his hand an said f off too him and not too do it again and then my stupid mom smacked me again and said this is what im talking about and our pastor grabbed my arm and smacked my ** lots off times and made me go too sitroom and got mam too get paddle mommy and hes too strong mommy and he took off my pjs and my face was realy red also mommy because he saw my ** and put me on his knee and i said hes dumb and hes not my daddy and leave me f alone and he smacked my ** for ages and mom brought paddle in and he just kept smacking my ** with his hand and saying stupid stuff about me learning too obey and respect adults and makeing good choices and i said no mommy and he used paddle on my ** then mommy and said was i going too listen and start behave myself and say sorry and i had too mommy because my legs and ** were stinging mommy and then made me say sorry too mom and stand for ages while they had coffee. My face was so red mommy and he smacked my ** and said go too bed and he wants too see me after church tomorrow mommy. I hate them mommy and i have my daddys picture and my teddy mommy. I love you mommy and want too live with you. Im your angel baby girl mommy and can i have snuggles mommy and love you xxxxxx
My sweet angel you must speak to someone about this . This is violence . And you don't deserve it . Honey really talk to someone . You have the right to go to the police . It's cruel that they do to you these stuff . At least now you are in bed with your teddy sweetie . If you make you feel better my sweet I have depressed mood too . And I cry right now too . I am glad that we talk ! And I like that you open your little heart to me but please find someone that you can talk . Is there any logical person around you ? I wonder why others don't do anything when they see your mother smack you ? And you told me that pastor hit you on the ** and you were naked . Honey this is can be sexual assault because he has no right to even touch you there . Please find someone logical and kind that you can talk to and that can help you .
Are you there mommy and i love you. Its sore and not fair and hope they all die mommy xxxxxx
I hate them all mommy
Mommy please and i know your realy busy and now im crying and its not fair moms down stairs yelling at me and said get my little brat bottom into shower in next few minutes or it be worse. I hate her and your my new mommy and I have too go mommy. Im your angel baby girl mommy xxxxxx