Wife is a stripper
So my wife Is a stripper. When we first met I didn't know about her job until a couple months into our relationship. At first I didn't seem to mind it that much, I used to always joke around and say that I was going to date a stripper at some point in my life. my issue with it is that according to her it's a club policy that I cannot go there and watch her dance they have a new boyfriend no husband policy. This raises a lot of concerns for me because why would I not be allowed to go there unless something damaging to the relationship is going on. well that just happened to be the case. I found out that this club is pretty sleazy and that extras happen inside the VIP room. my now wife back then told me nothing was going on and she didn't do anything like that but I just couldn't justify how she made so much money every night without doing something wrong. I ended up sending one of my friends into the club that she never met and asked her for a lap dance. I had him put his phone on record so I can hear the conversation and as she tried to sell him the VIP room I heard everything she offered and for how much. I was devastated. At this point we've already been engaged for six months and as much as I trusted her word I knew something was wrong it was just a gut feeling. I didn't know how to confront her about it because every time I brought it up she would turn it on me and make me seem crazy that I'm making up stories and I'm just being insecure which took a huge toll on me emotionally because I didn't know what to believe. I asked her again to be honest with me one day and she still attacked me saying that I'm making s*** up. That was so fed up I pulled the phone out and play the recording that my friend got for me. She looked at me like a kid caught red-handed in the cookie jar and said whatever just leave. Long story short we ended up fixing everything and have our own set of boundaries for when she goes to work but I just can't find it in me to fully trust her again because of how she deceived me from the beginning no matter how many times i asked her to come forward and just be honest. The problem I have with this is that at this point with our relationship and boundaries I feel it's completely one sided which allows her to do almost anything she wants yet I really don't get anything in return. I personally feel that if she's going to continue working that our relationship needs to be more open on both ends because right now regardless of that she's making money what she's doing is still considered cheating and is a one way relationship. recently I feel that she's not even committing to the boundaries that we discussed over recent things that I've seen in her phone. I'm really not sure what to do anymore in my marriage. A lot of guys claim they can handle this but realistically it tears them apart and I feel that my wife isn't going to move from this career anytime soon yet I don't feel like I have anywhere near equal freedom as she does. I feel if she's going to be doing things with other men, then she should give me the same freedom with women, or find some
balance to share this experience together. I'm a very sexually driven person but she shut her self down even at home where I feel like it's not even an attraction anymore it's just like I paid an admission ticket and here's my allotted time. I really do feel trapped at this point and I'm not sure how to handle it that I've been going to therapy just to talk to somebody but I don't wanna leave her I do love her I just can't get her out to do another job because she's so comfortable making the money she makes even though it's damaging our marriage. I know she slept with other guys and have the proof of it and her admission to it I just want that to end and keep the past in the past so we can move forward together but she is so independent that I feel her life wouldn't be affected whether I was in a drawer noI know she slept with other guys and have the proof of it and her admission to it I just want that to end and keep the past in the past so we can move forward together but she is so independent that I feel her life wouldn't be affected whether I was in it or not. I work full-time but my career doesn't pay all the bills and it's understandable that she works this job for financial gain but I think she's just too comfortable since she's been doing this for over 10 years and as much as she tells me she's looking to find another career I just don't see the initiative to get out.