Am i not good enough for you?
Im 23Yrs young in a serious relationship for about 7 years now, considering the simple fact that my gf's family doesn't seem to acknowledge me or ever speak to me you can already imagine what most of our relationship was like! I love this woman so much we were high school sweethearts and evolved together & learned life together. We've been independent know for about 2.5 years. She got a good paying job within the company where her father works along with all of her other 7 siblings. I knew what I was getting myself into when I met her silver spoon in her mouth etc but we fell in love. We are fairly different in personal lives etc. During high school my mom was going through a divorce so I had to let go of scholarships on the table to help my single mom with bills. Surprisingly through all the struggles my gf never left my side and stuck with me through it all. Recently I reconciled within myself to go back to school and ive been doing it now successfully and independently free of debt by working my 7-5 construction job in the hot, cold, winter, rain you name it. For my age i'd say im doing darn good I never had anything handed to me and I worked to be where im at now, so good that my savings are looking pretty darn good for a 23 yr old with no debt, no car payment giving the fact that I recently finished paying my self bought truck about 3 weeks ago no more payments! I've self taught myself tons of things from programming, IT, schematics, budgeting, cost control, Finance, Stock Market, Real Estate, DIY pay for online seminars & certifications to expand my career. I've spent thousands of dollars on most of my certifications but each one has been sacrificed, tough work, and taking time off from normal things a 23yr old should be doing. My gf seems to miscomprehend my ambition, drive, & success. On the side I rack up thousands by selling homes with my realtor license. I'm highly creative and talkative so people orientation is fairly natural to me. Our silence has gotten so big that now for any little thing I do or don't do she seems to get upset at me for not "Acknowledging her presence". Now let me break down my daily routines work, school, work again in real estate, meet up with clients, investors, computer work 99.9 percent of my day oh did I mention i still manage to take online classes & make it to another class by 6pm and make it back home around 10-11pm. i have two lap tops , 2 phones & my head and thoughts spin over 1 million times in a day. Through my behalf i let my gf know that instead of her nagging& complaining that i don't spend time with her enough she should be proud im a very intellectually driven individual. Most 23 yr olds are either pregnant, having a whole family, going out , partying, getting married, quit school, and living not their best life with beer bellies for the most part that's been the case with majority of ex high school people i bump into in the street! My mother is very proud and she mentions it everyday and brags about me to her friends at work etc meanwhile my gf brings me down, shames me for not being man enough yet theres been times when she acts up i strip her naked and i know what she wants. Her brother was a ex-addict now thanks to their father he has a great position in the same company within all of her siblings have never had to really work for anything and i think my gf is blinded by all of the things im able to manage within my day. I'm constantly getting compared to her brothers by her its as if she fairly .5 percent disbeliefs in what all i am capable of, Keep in mind im the brains in the relationship. She reminds me daily as in a threat that i need to hurry up and get her pregnant before shes 30, if im no where near done with my engineering career she will leave me and find someone else who will suit her needs. I've gotten to the point where I don't care anymore. I've worked so hard for what I've built for my age and I continue to daily grind sometimes I don't get no sleep hello insomnia i stay up late nights note taking, listing new homes, writing essays, calculating engineering math, checking emails, paying bills, or catching up with podcasts from Millionare's, reading books, or working out. I've came to a realization that in relationships its a possibility of one person being heartless, selfish & self centered. When do you know that you aren't being valued enough? when is too little too much? Am i wrong for aspiring to become better ? For busting my ass working paying for my school and Networking? She constantly reminds me " your dreaming the life you want to have," I dress fairly nice in suits and slacks dress shoes i believe in dressing up for the job you want she belittles me for that too?? Is this even love? Is this even fair? Daily I am being judged and perceived as cocky , arrogant, selfish guy, jock, because i care for my physique, skin, dress nice, and perceive others with professional demeanor. Little do they know im just a 23yr old Guy aspiring to become better than a broken home & a low income single mother who once sacrificed everything she had for me and my siblings. im the bad guy because im working 24/7 to give us a better life we literally live in high end apartments and none of the life she lioves would be possible without my deep desire to thrive... When my gf and I go out she seems to get bothered because other woman stare at me i seem to have to apologize for eating healthy, going to the gym, dressing nice, having blue eyes, thick hair, strong physical attributes, every step i make i must watch myself. Keep in mind im handy, take care of my woman, she buys whatever she wants, shes independent , technically doesn't need me unless its for handy stuff or s**, is my gf controlling my life? do i deserve better? Its odd when im out in public alone and beautiful woman turn my way i feel as if oh snap there she might be ready to scream and attack all who compliment me. As i type this i look back on all ive done for this woman and all i continue to do for her she doesn't appreciate little things, the flowers, the coments, for goodness sake i got home from work yesterday and cleaned the damn stove top and fridge left it spike clean oh i forgot im the clean freak here, i do the laundry, i cook, i clean our bathroom , what the f*** is a real woman? if she cant seem to support your dreams,goals, & stick by your side. I Feel like a toy , manipulatively driven by her body, is it the way she sucks me dry is it the way she controls when and where, maybe its because shes been a daddys girl all her life and thinks the world revolves around her but maybe its the right time to move on and find someone who appreciates all i do...Jun 10, 2020