What Do I Do?

I'm 27. My ex girlfriend is 25. Her mom treats her like she's 16. She lives at home for school but pays rent, buys her own groceries, buys her own stuff. At first she wasn't allowed to stay at my place on week days. I got her to stand up to her mom a few times, but she also left me twice. Once because of her biological mom, and the second was because of a friend.

Her friend is no good to her. She told her once that she'd drive my ex back to my place but when my ex offered her money she took it anyways. It totalled $40 in two days when even a cab would have been less than $20. She took her to a Halloween party when she made my ex dump me.

The Halloween party she let my ex relapse, and left her at the party not knowing anyone there and slept on a chair. And was made to give her number out to multiple guys to get them to leave her alone and they pretty much forced her to make-out.

I told her that she had to choose me or her as a friend. She chose me.

She left a third time because her other friend wouldn't let her come back to my place after she went to the car to get her phone.

I was still in touch with her the day after and told her "if you wanna be with me you're stuck with me" she hearted that message. I told her if she didn't want me to come see her that day to tell me. She didn't say not to.

The night I went I got back home without her showing up and the cops called me that night telling me to leave her alone or she'd get a protection order out against me. Again... I know it wasn't her because she hasn't blocked me on Facebook but won't talk to me.

The problem I have here is that I'm dying. I've been terminal for awhile now and accepted it this past year and a half. she's stood by me through appointments, neurology exams and I've waited for her outside her psych appointments.

Her therapist told her she needs to get away from them but she's easily manipulated into staying and getting them to get her to leave.

This time I haven't heard from her in almost a month. Back together it lasted about a week at my place till her friend finally made her leave.

I've met her mom a few times and she seemed like she was okay with me. I finally stood up to her the second time my ex came back and told her mom she can do what she wants, it's her life and she's 25.

The deal we made to get her away was at the end of the school year in April she would move in with me to get away.

She's completely different with me. Less anxious, happier, outgoing, less cautious, timid. We've helped each other a lot over the year we've known each other and closer with the 3 months she's been back in my life and more so the 2 months on and off we dated.

I can't keep bugging her trying to get her to come back or at least try and talk to me.

Everyone I know said not to take her back and it's for the best to leave her alone that her family won't ever let us be together again.

I inscribed on my favourite book (1940's second edition Dorian grey) as a present for her when I pass. I read it crying and she filmed it so she could always here my voice and see me read it instead of imagining me do it.

Her birthday passed in October the only thing she wanted was me for her birthday but I was not allowed to be there so we had our own thing at my place and I bought her a special cupcake.

I know she'll hate herself forever if she never gets to say goodbye when I'm gone. lucky to make it to 30. Even if I do my life expectancy is at most 50 if I'm everything goes well.

We both never knew true love till we got together.

I needed her when I found out my heart is failing and she wouldn't even talk to me. She set her message to ignored when I do send one. I made my peace as hard as it was that I was going to walk away from it and that it was going to happen when I died anyways and that she deserved better in the long run with someone else than me anyways and that whoever she picks as her endgame better love her as much as I did

Was I all sunshine and rainbows during the relationship? No we had some arguments but nothing that broke us up.

The question is... Should I take her back if she wants to? I'm afraid she'll leave a 4th time because of them.

7 Comments

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  • The answer is replacement. Just about HALF of all the people in this world are one of those females, and lots of them are pretty good. It took me 4 tries, the 4th one lasted now 47 years.

  • F*** no! Why would you waste your last days on this bullshit?

  • It is difficult, but you need to learn to let go. I get how this sort of drama makes you feel attached and that is a pleasant alternative to the health issues you are dealing with. But ah if you are Terminal by 50 and you are currently 27 it sounds like you have some kind of genetic abnormality so ah... Having kids is not a good call. And quite frankly, you just need to live your life well while you are in it. This means letting go of this sort of bs drama.

  • Neither of us wanted kids. My illness is brought on by a childhood attack. My dad hit me over the head with an aluminum pipe. I went clinically dead for a bit and since then my brain damage has been destroying the rest of my body.

  • Where one door closes another opens. if you think its love, do something wrong and find out....sounds twisted but if they will just leave when something got "difficult" you might as well find out sooner and save you both time.... we have all fallen shirt of the glory of God, and He still gave us His Son. thats f**** love right there...unconditional....I recently came across an old phone with many texts with people I do not talk with any longer at this moment... read through some....long story short is people create an image of you in there head and when you dont fit that image they wanted you to be its "you're not the person I fell in love with any more" just look at the divorce rate....people falling in love with themselves....the messages I read showed too much blindness on both of our parts (wish that I knew all I know now, when i was younger) God bless... you might be better off with someone else...you might only think of this person when it comes to love, all in all. its it the image of her that you made that you fell in love with, or her

  • The problem is we love eachother but her family won't LET her talk to me. So the messages set to ignored isn't her. I tried going there but they forced her to call the police saying I was harassing her but she never blocked me on Facebook so I knew it wasn't her choice to do so.

  • Think of yourself.
    Live your life to the full as if the present day is your last day.
    Ditch the b****.
    You don't need her.
    Be more self reliant.

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