Don't be mad at me.

How is it my fault that things got carried away, I never agreed to anything beyond what happened already and now it's somehow my fault tha I don't want to do more.
My best friend and I went to college together, It was more of an escape from real life than anything, We had both taken a year off after highschool and were waitressing at the same place, It was fun with the staff we had and so on but together we decided to go to college in a completely different town and 5 hours from home, We got our residencey assignments together and share a townhouse style building with two other girls. The first week was just partying hard and getting to know room mates, Our one room mate brought up shaving vs waxing vs letting it grow out and stated that she grows an almost full bush and was more than willing to show us. Silly college stuff but the 4 of us were in her room, She is sitting back on her elbows, legs spread and just a tank top on.
This was my first time seeing another girl's...Stuff in real life and up close, Our other room mate stated that she was the complete opposite and whipped down her shorts standing there completely bald, My best friend has a landing strip and I have a small V shape, I never really ever did shave the part between my legs, Like the lips and whatever just trimmed up the V and called it good but I did notice that my friend was completely bald other than her landing strip. A while later that night me and her were back in my room and I mentioned it and asked if she shaves that part, She pulled her shorts to the side and showed me she does.
One thing led to another and her and I ended up in the shower, I don't remember how this seemed like a good idea but it was not the first time we had been in a room hile one was in the shower and no where near the first time we had seen each other in some form of undress, But it was the first time being in there together, We were in the shower and she was demonstrating how to clean it up without shaving off a lip, LOL. We were having shower beers and laughing, We weren't trying to be quiet since our room mates knew we were in there together but since I was nervous about the whole shaving that area thing she just straight up spun me around, Lifted my one foot and put it on the edge of the tub while I leaned against the wall.
She slathered me up with a big handful of shaving cream and I was like "Whoa....Ok, you're getting pretty handsy down there" and she just laughed, She shaved me all up and the whole time she had her hands in there spreading things and touching things and then she got me to turn around, Bend over with one foot back up on the side of the tub and was doing the "Finishing touches"...Yeah, I was...Aroused, I had just been shaved, Rubbed, Fondled and touched and was in a provocative position so when she pressed my c*** with her finger I may or may not have moaned a little, I may or may not have stuck my backside out a little more and I may or may not have drifted off into a bit of a state of...Fantasy.
No, I did not put up a fight, I didn't argue against it, I even leaded my head agaist the shower wall and closed my eyes, Reached back and put my hand on her head when I felt her face press against my butt and then felt her tonge touch me somewhere I hadn't been touched in a few months, She reached up, Piched my nips and licked me until I had a...Not squirting but...Flowing O, I have big O's and I don't call it squirting but I leave a huge wet spot and go into a...Melt down state where I collapse and take some time to regain myself which I did, I came hard and fast and long, legs shaking and she was like "Oh my god J*****e, Oh my god yes" and rubbed my c*** as I came and came and came and then I shakily dropped to my knees and sat down.
She was kissing me and groping me and I said "Just wait, Wait, wait....I need a minute", Her mind was on...Reciprocation and mine was on getting out of the shower so I didn't drown lol. We got out of the shower and I wrapped up in a towel, She did not and we left the bathroom, Went to my room and crawled into bed, I just wanted to snuggle and we did and then I fell asleep with her groping me and me trying to fend her off.
The next morning I went downstairs and she kept looking at me and smiling, I giggled a bit and she looked around then whispered "Sooo....That was pretty crazy right?", I nodded my head and said "uuuhhh yeah, Yeah", I ate and went back upstairs and she followed me into my room, She was all over me and even though I kept saying "whoa, Whoa, Slow down...Let's just...Hold on" she still got my top off and we got into bed, She was all over me groping and sucking my b**** and kept trying to go "Downtown", I finally pulled her back up to my face and said "Hold on...I need to...Process...I don't know where I am at with this yet".
She rolled me onto my back, Straddled me and sat on me, Took off her top and said "So...Let's talk", She had my hands by the wrists and was running my hands up and down her sides then up to cup her b****, She's a larger chested girl and she had my hands on hers, Her hands on mine and was leaning in kissing me as we groped each other and I was trying to focus but finally had to push her back and say "Ok, Ok, Ok, Hold on...I...I enjoyed las night, Like...A lot", And she said "But?", I said "But...I...I don't know where I am at yet with...Doing more", She got off me and we were finally able to talk and I explained that I was not clear on how much more I wanted to do.
She kept trying to....Entice me, Touching, Kissing, Sucking and I got aroused again, Went for it and we did a sixty nine, Both got off and laid in bed for a long time jus holding each other, Days went by and she kept trying to talk me into either staying in her room or her staying in mine and I kept making excuses to avoid it until finally me and her were in my room, I said "I need to talk this out" and by the time I turned around and sat on my bed she was sitting on my desk chair wearing nothing, Not one stitch of clothes, Legs spread rubbing herself and she said "Or we could....", I said "Ugh, That's what I need to talk about", I walked over to her and she pulled me down to my knees and put my hands on her thighs and then pushed my one hand to her c***, I started rubbing it and then said "No, Stop, Seriously, I need to talk".
Eventually I did, I just blurted out what I was feeling and she sat staring at me, She said "So...You didn't enjoy it?", I said "Well...Yes but that's not the point", We had a good long talk and eventually she got dressed, We have still been talking but she is noticably distant, I have asked but she won't discuss it and is becoming increasingly more...Biter toward me it seems, I don't want her to be angry with me and who knows, Maybe I will want to do more but I need time to process it, that's just how I work, She needs to be more understanding because the more angry she is the less I want to take a step that could affect the rest of my time here with her.
I just want her to understand that this was never a "thing" for me and I didn't plan or even think it was going to happen, She admitted that it was something she had thought about before and considered doing but for me it was more spur of the moment and I feel like she is trying to force me out of guilt from our friendship raher than letting me decide on my own.

Dec 13

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