Left me after baby loss

I just suffered a miscarriage and week later he said that he hates that we waited until later in life to have children and he resented me. He said because I worked too much and put off having children he feels he’s lost his dream. I came home and everything of mine was packed up. My ex told me it was over, that was final, and I couldn’t give him what he needed. That was 6 weeks ago.

I moved out. I didn’t contact him or beg, I wa a heartbroken and said I’d give him space. He told me to take our dogs, he didn’t want to see any reminder of me.

4 week later I text and asked if he wanted to see the dogs for the weekend, and he said that he didn’t that would be good for him and he’s settled that we are out of his life and just treat them well.

Last week I saw him out and then text him and I asked if he wanted to grab coffee. He said that’s not a good idea for either of us and he hopes I’m happy.

I just got an apartment for myself and the dogs. I’ve only reached out twice via text after 10 years of being together. I also sent him an apology letter taking accountability for the pain of being a workaholic and putting off having kids and how sorry I am it impacted him. I’ve never heard from him and our mutual friends have said he’s moved on. He doesn’t trust me that I would change and he’s going to find someone that can give him what he wants in life - someone who prioritizes and will give him a a family. We are 40, by the way. Most are siding with him since I have dedicated years to my career and MBA.

My confession is that I hate, regardless of what he said, that if I had kept the baby he would have stayed with me. I know he’s hurting, but leaving me a week after we lost a baby, I feel like he should be apologizing 6 weeks later. I’m don’t want to be a victim, I just feel what he did was cruel throwing me away and then cutting me off.

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