What I'm afraid of the most, is what I need.
I'm sixteen and female, I've never been kissed, or asked out (by anyone that wouldn't go to jail for it lol,) I have a medical condition that makes it so I probably won't die of old age, but hey, I'm kickin'. I've had some problems with my mom who is an untreated bi-polar manic depressive, so it's hard at times to get the love I need, but I also know it isn't my fault. I have a huge fear of commitment, and being needed, because I feel that I might die, and leave my loved one behind and heart-broken. I know it seems silly, but it's the way I've thought for the past sixteen years. Although it's what I'm afraid of, I've come to realize, it's what I need the most. I need love, I need to be able to open myself up to someone, but I also know, it isn't going to happen so, simply because: it's not my time.
I know this isn't a confession, more like a confused sixteen-year-old's rant, but, I've needed to get it off my chest for a while, and there wasn't really anyone to listen.