I hate my life (teenage girl perspective).

Today, on September the 4th, was one of my very, very bad days. I woke up, went downstairs, had a bowl of cereal and two waffles. Went shopping with my sister. Got 4 pieces of clothing, all too small or unfitting. We got home, my sister shows off her 12 pieces of clothing, all of which fit her tight body, big booty and t***. She gets skin tight mini dresses, form fitting shirts etc all which fit her perfectly. I try to put on a sweater I bought and it doesn’t even fit my shoulders right. While my sister decides between numerous people who want to hang out with her tonight, I try to text my friend with no response.
I hate my life.
I go upstairs and look at Facebook on my phone. I see the guy I used to like, who posted great videos on my wall, who talked to me all the time. We hung out once, and he asked me out, I was thrilled (never having a boyfriend in my life), later that night we kissed, and he convinced me to blow him. I realized after 2 weeks of him not trying to contact me, that he only asked me out so I would feel better about doing stuff to him. I see him post numerous videos on other girl’s walls. I also see beautiful pictures of amazing girls with countless likes and comments. And I look in the mirror and see a hideous, witch-looking face, with a crooked giant nose, acne, flat chest, cellulite ass, stomach roll- fat girl. I think about ways to make my life better. I think about slamming a book in my face to break my nose and have it heal the right way. Or maybe jumping off of something and landing on my nose. I also think about someway I could make myself throw up, and I think about how great it would be if I couldn’t eat for days.
I hate my life.
I lay in my bed at 7:30 hating my life and beginning to cry when I realize I forgot to do my astronomy homework to take a picture of the sunset. Running downstairs, I flick off the tears that started to form in my eyes. I run past my mom, telling her I need to rush, hop on my bike, and zoom down to the lake. I stop to see that the sun is way past the trees, and out of my view. I bike at a moderate pace back to my house hoping a car won’t see me and accidentally sweep me off my feet. But, of course that doesn’t happen. I come back home to my mom who prepared a dessert for me, so I eat it. I come back upstairs and force myself to throw up for 20 minutes, but failed because I don’t have a gag reflex. My throat is still raw from trying constantly. I brought up a bottle of hydrogen peroxide too, and I’m thinking about trying to drink some of that. I’ve decided to be anorexic again as well.
I hate my life.

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  • I totally feel you. I'm 17 and HATE myself and my life. I'm so dissappointed with it. I have weight issues to,but fear throwing up so sometimes I'll go days without eating and it makes me feel so weak and then when i start to eating again just one little thing i eat i feel guilty about. Also, I never had a boyfriend either which makes me feel even worse about myself. All of my other friends already lost their virginitys and everyhting and I never even had a boyfriend. It makes me feel totally pathetic. I don't have a social life. I go to school, come home, and I sleep. And when i wake up, I'm so depressed cuz I know I'm back in reality. I try to be nice and freindly at school, but where I'm from, everyone is really mean and I've always just gotten pushed away. I'm so depressed with myself that I turned to drugs to help me cope, and yeah it helps me, but I'm not proud or think I'm awesome because I do it. I do it because it's the only thing besides sleep that gets me away from my reality. I'm sorry you go through what you do, I know how it feels. and it totally sucks and it seems there is nothing that makes it better.

  • Oh and when im telling u about the nose stuff I'm basically saying it's just in all not a good idea and painful and would cost u more money than it's worth. One more thing, never compare yourself to anyone. U are u. It doesn't matter wat anybody else has because everyone can make their own assets beautiful by simply being comfortable with yourself and realizing that nothing matters more than ur well being and happiness. I hav had low self esteem my entire life and I always cared wat other ppl thot. Now that Ive accepted who I am, I am happier than I've ever been even though I'm not skinny and gorgeous and nothing in my life is going right. Just find that peace with yourself.

  • I'm a 15 year old girl with mostly all the same problems as u. One is with my weight, I've always been bigger and a few years ago I lost most of it and then a year later I gained it back and then I lost it again and now here I am being just as heavy as I was before. But out of all this weight wavering I've learned many things. The one and only best way to lose weight is to eat healthy. Sometimes that doesn't get rid of enough of it like in my case, so in order to get rid of the rest is to work out. Even just going for walks or walking up and down some stairs. Throwing up usually results in more weight gain because of slowing down metabolism. Now with the flat chest thing, I hav no t*** either but most girls that get attention at my school don't hav em either, it's not all about the t***. If u hav a good attitude and unfortunately because of the shallowness of high school, a good body, the size of u b**** dnt even matter. Also breaking your nose would result in a big bump on ur nose unless ur family paid money to fix the broken nose cosmetically meaning going under the knife basically getting a nose job. I really hope all this advice helps.

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