My stepdaughter is so manipulating

I started dating my boyfriend over 11 years ago. We were both in the process of divorce. He had 5 kids and I had 3. He is also 10 years older than me so he has adult children as well.

We took things slow in the beginning and the little ones got along okay and then the jealously started with his daughter.

As she got older my daughters and I started receiving hate emails from her. My middle daughter is a grade below her and started getting bullied by her and her friends at school. She was being kicked, puched down, and called names. When she would tell me and I would tell her father it just made things worst and she would get bullied even worst being told snitches get stitches.

We have two boys together and when I found out that I was pregnant with my second my car got vandalized. As soon as I had him the evil step daughter and her bully friends came up to my daughter at school to ask what race the baby was.

She started getting involved with drugs and alcohol and having parties, as soon as her father opened his eyes to her finally! and tried to punish her, her mother stepped in and excused her behavior.

She is now 18 and still lives with her mother, but everytime I see her my blood boils of all the times she has made our lives miserable. We just went to my boyfriends sons wedding and my daughters were looking at a display table and she was on a balcony above them and tried to spit gum in their hair.

My boyfriend said that one day she will finally grow up , I seriously doubt that. I feel like she is who she is and will always be hateful and spiteful. My 4 year old tripped the next day from the wedding and hit his head and she laughed. I hope I don't have to deal with her again for a long while.

His other children aren't as bad as she, they are boys and are all adults as well. They do get offended easily though.

Any advice on adult stepchildren and manipulative stepdaughter?

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  • She is almost 19 now and we only have to see her on special occasions. I understand that its a packaged deal. Everyone got along in the beginning, I don't understand where the hate came from. The children all played together and always were around each other. When she got into JR High that's when it all started. I always took a back seat and me and her father lived in separate homes till just 2 months ago, for his kids he would say. I don't think I have ever hated anyone as much as I hate his daughter and his ex for all the crap that I've had to deal with. I don't even hold grudges against anyone till now. I told him that he can have a relationship with his daughter as much as he wants and doesn't have to ask me for permission, but I don't want anything to do with her or for her to be involved in any of my childrens lives.

  • After 11 years, you would think that she would just accept that her parents divorced and moved on. Did her mom remarry? There's not a whole lot that you can do. Tripping and spitting are not necessarily illegal acts, they are very immature. She obviously does not respect you, so saying anything is useless. But your bf should say something and stop enabling her and her behavior. Set up some boundaries and hold firm. Because of the bullying towards her younger half brothers she may not be invited over. She must either be going to school full time or work. And if you suspect drugs, insist on drug tests. Hopefully, she grows up fast and lets go of the resentment. But you also have to as well..whatever your part is in this..everyone has to make changes in order to move this relationship forward.

  • If she is out if school now, and can't harm your daughter anymore I say just watch her when she's in your house.

    If they (your daughter and the evil stepchild) still go to the same school you should advise the school counselor and make sure they are aware and you would like it to be confidential (advise husband not on board).

    Don't worry dear lady Karma is gonna jack up that little b**** you'll see, avoid the s*** out of her, and she'll find new victims.

  • Your bf and his children are a package deal. He can't control his daughter and his ex-wife doesn't care. What you've got is a spiteful, resentful, and mean spirited bully who regularly hurts your children. If you stay in this relationship, you're leaving the door open for your daughter to be abused further. It's up to you how badly you want to be in this relationship, because you're staying in it at your daughter's expense.

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