Losing it

I am so in love with this guy. After a month of crazy love he started avoiding me.
Im devastated and broken inside, feeling like I want to cry and cry and cry and cry until all sadness goes out through tears but I CANT.
I feel eternally sad and abandoned, puzzled with many questions, and wishes and desires. I had great hopes for us, I was ready for anything. To completely belong. To unconditionally love. To fight the lows and fly the skies.
I take his photo and as I look at him I ask: why why why? Tell me...
I need you to hug me and tell me everything is gonna be alright. Another broken dream... I feel I will never learn, I will never learn to be happy and to have someone.
Oh my misery...
I should have been more careful. I should have shared less and trusted less. But at one point it all looked so perfect so promising and I gave out, I gave it all out. And now... silence.
Im here in my questions and fears, not knowing whats wrong, not knowing where I made a mistake, did I do something? Did I say something?
If this fails completely, I swear I dont know how will I ever be able to trust again. I knew when I said YES to him that I needed to be more careful, sustained, but I wanted it so bad. So there it is... he holds me within his hands now... will he drop me?
I have no control over it. What a s***** feeling.

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  • Thanks anonymous for pouring out your heart here. Quite empathize with you in your plight. What I would add here is for you young lady to "close your legs". I have counselled ladies over the years in the course of my work and I have come to discover that majority of the ladies that do not "move on" whenever a relationship does not work out are those who had given in to sexual pressures, committed abortions or gotten infections from their partners. They keep sulking even a decade after the break up whereas their male counterparts had moved on, married and had kids. This later scenario usually adds to the lady's predicament. On the other hand, those who "closed their legs" have more secure and trustworthy marriages apart from "moving on" faster. Also lady, spice your spiritual life with God's word. Learn to read your scriptures (New Testament -you can google it and read on your mobile phones or tablets) and find out what LOVE means.

    1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. . .

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