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Husband fell out of love with me
My husband has fallen out of love with me and has asked for a divorce. It's more than I can handle. There is no other person involved. We starting growing apart 2 years ago. He became more and more distant. Didn't want to go out on dates, started doing more things with his friends without wanting me around, like football games and going to the bars. I've asked do counseling. He said no. He stopped being intimate with me. I've tried everything. I offered to take us on vacation and try to get away, just the two of us. He said this would put a band aid on our issues, and not solve anything. We stopped trying to have children because he said he felt like we had some problems to resolve first before he wanted kids with me. Then he stopped sleeping with me all together. I told him that I felt like a stranger in my own home. He started eating dinner on his own, staying down in his home office later and later. I got my hair done, a professional makeover, starting going to the gym. He just has been looking at me for the last few months like I'm a ghost. And then he said he wants out . No effort on his part.
Just existing in this relationship, while I am
Trying to do all I can to keep us together and fix us!! He is Just completely checked out on his part. He went away for the weekend with his buddies to a college Football
Game, came home Last night and today asked for a divorce. Over text while I was at a work meeting today. I couldn't keep myself
Together on the plane. While I'm driving home from the airport, he sent me messages that it's too late, we shouldn't waste each other's time, and he's too old to be in marriage with someone he doesn't love anymore. When I came home tonight, I asked him if we are really over?? He said, we are over and there is no use in fighting and went to his office and closed the door. I told him this isn't fair and I deserve to be talked to and didn't come out. I'm on our guest room now and beside myself.
I feel lost. I feel devasted. This has been my best friend for 10 years. I know people go through this all the time. I can't understand how you just throw a relationship
away!!! He said he's getting older and doesn't want to waste anymore time. He wants out quickly so he can meet someone so
Maybe he can still start a family.
He turned up the volume on our tv in our bedroom when I started crying. This is not happening!!! Please someone tell
me I will be ok. I am in hysterics right now. I love him so much, I don't believe in divorce and told him I would do whatever he wanted or needed. I feel like someone stabbed me in my chest. I don't know how to get through this and I still cannot believe he is giving up.
Whatever age it is, women is still a women who has some responsiblities towards home. She should put her effort to be at home. If her career is so important then divorse is the only option. He atleast told that he dont want her because he dont want to travel with her. But, she dont want to leave him and her career. She need to make the decision at some point.
Just because they're married, doesn't mean she has to be home cleaning, cooking and cleaning his **, all the time. Fair enough, she used to do those duties more often, when she was more of, a stay at home wife. I think she spoilt him and he got used to that pampered lifestyle, that now when she rarely does them, he spits his dummy out and has a tantrum like a baby! He appeared content with that lifestyle, but obviously, she didn't.
I wonder if he ever cooked her a meal sometimes? I bet he didn't do ** and now he has to, to gets a sulk on!!
He appears insecure and old fashioned. He deserves to be married to an Amish woman and deserves to be with, an adventurous stud, who she can enjoy travelling and other interesting pursuits with.
I'm the wife. It's been several days since I have responded on here. It is amazing how much even a few days since this happened have changed me. Based on some of our recent conversations, I see how much my husband wants to be taken care of, how much he does not want his routine to do to be affected. I see how much he wants someone, not specifically me, to fill his needs. When I explained to him how not being intimate, no affection, not going on dates has affected me, he couldn't see the issue. He was extremely upset with me not doing the laundry and cleaning and shopping as much as a I previously did, through. When I explained how there were issues on both sides, he couldn't see it. He only saw his side. I realize now how he's been since I took a promotion. Often put me down and was not proud of me. He didn't want me to finish grad school because it would take away from my home life, so I didn't. When I would talk about successes at work, he would say he didn't want to talk about work. Then he'd ask me what's for dinner. I offered to fly him to my conferences, meetings, awards ceremonies. He said he didn't want to go because he didn't feel like being by himself when I was in meetings. I told him he could golf, site see, get a massage. And I asked what difference it would make than him being alone in our home?? He could be with me at night and we could do dinner and drinks. Nope. He doesn't like to leave his routine, his friends, his life. I wanted to move since when we got married as I moved into his home. He said no, he likes how his house is. To this day, I've only been allowed to decorate one room- my guest bedroom/office. He hates my new job took me away from taking care of him, cooking and cleaning. He hates that my promotion meant I started making more money than him. He wants someone to follow his routine, his likes, and anyone who deviates doesn't fit. That was me. I was the perfect wife before, and when I starting doing someone for me- he threw me out.
You deserve better. I hope you divorce his **!! :)
I would find it hard to respect a fella like him. Just saying.
I'm a woman of the modern world. I'm independent, adventurous and ambitious. I have a partner who I adore very much and we've been happily together for, seven years.
We work as a team in our relationship. We share the house duties, bills, food shopping and cooking meals. We even take turns, with paying for our dates and holidays. And this is how, a relationship should be, in my opinion. It's team work/effective partnership. One should not do, more than the other. Regardless of, gender!!
We're loving, considerate, caring and understanding of each others needs. And if we're apart from each other for a lengthy period of time, as we often are because of me travelling alot, "we" don't fall out of love with each other, because of it!! It makes our love, stronger.
I don't agree with your chauvinistic, old fashioned view points, but I respect your opinion.
Ps Just because a woman is a woman, doesn't mean she's obligated because of her gender, to do house duties and stay at home, catering
solely for her partners needs. I know it is that way, within some cultures. But that doesn't mean, it's right!!
Times have changed man! women have evolved and so have the notions, on what women are perceived, to do.
At one time, a woman was deemed as, only being good for being a house wife, stay at home mother, a doormat, ** slave and so forth. These idealisms are still present, within some countries and cultures, today. But on the whom, women are more empowered creatures of beauty in the 21 century!! Move with the times and stop living in the past!!
Women have always been and still are, worth more than just being; house slaves, baby makers, ** slaves and domestic cleaning slaves!!