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Husband fell out of love with me
My husband has fallen out of love with me and has asked for a divorce. It's more than I can handle. There is no other person involved. We starting growing apart 2 years ago. He became more and more distant. Didn't want to go out on dates, started doing more things with his friends without wanting me around, like football games and going to the bars. I've asked do counseling. He said no. He stopped being intimate with me. I've tried everything. I offered to take us on vacation and try to get away, just the two of us. He said this would put a band aid on our issues, and not solve anything. We stopped trying to have children because he said he felt like we had some problems to resolve first before he wanted kids with me. Then he stopped sleeping with me all together. I told him that I felt like a stranger in my own home. He started eating dinner on his own, staying down in his home office later and later. I got my hair done, a professional makeover, starting going to the gym. He just has been looking at me for the last few months like I'm a ghost. And then he said he wants out . No effort on his part.
Just existing in this relationship, while I am
Trying to do all I can to keep us together and fix us!! He is Just completely checked out on his part. He went away for the weekend with his buddies to a college Football
Game, came home Last night and today asked for a divorce. Over text while I was at a work meeting today. I couldn't keep myself
Together on the plane. While I'm driving home from the airport, he sent me messages that it's too late, we shouldn't waste each other's time, and he's too old to be in marriage with someone he doesn't love anymore. When I came home tonight, I asked him if we are really over?? He said, we are over and there is no use in fighting and went to his office and closed the door. I told him this isn't fair and I deserve to be talked to and didn't come out. I'm on our guest room now and beside myself.
I feel lost. I feel devasted. This has been my best friend for 10 years. I know people go through this all the time. I can't understand how you just throw a relationship
away!!! He said he's getting older and doesn't want to waste anymore time. He wants out quickly so he can meet someone so
Maybe he can still start a family.
He turned up the volume on our tv in our bedroom when I started crying. This is not happening!!! Please someone tell
me I will be ok. I am in hysterics right now. I love him so much, I don't believe in divorce and told him I would do whatever he wanted or needed. I feel like someone stabbed me in my chest. I don't know how to get through this and I still cannot believe he is giving up.
Why will someone do this to a person who is perfect in ever aspect? Analyze the whats wrong with you and try correcting it. You might have done something unknowingly which might have hurt your spouse. If you say you did not do anything wrong then your husband is an **
I am certainly not perfect. I travel for work, which has caused friction in our relationship. Many days of me being gone. I offered to quit my job. For him to travel with me when I have a convention or meeting (which he can). He said it's just too late. He says we were falling apart, and the physical distant of me traveling made him pull away from me. I have offered to change and be a stay at home wife but he says it doesn't matter now. There is no point. I know we had problems, and now I'm realizing I'm to blame. When we stopped having ** is when I felt him really changing. I wore lingerie and tried everything, and he just said emotionally he wasn't into it. I'd lay next to him crying and tell him how bad I felt that he didn't want to touch me or vice versa. He's sensitive and somewhat needy and he wanted me home every night to cook and clean and be a wife. I've failed my duties. Even writing on here has helped me see how much I have messed up. When I got a new job that requires more travel. He felt that he had to take care of himself, making his own dinners and laundry etc and just feels separate from me. Now he said he feels like he's lived on his own and wants someone new. I completely destroyed my marriage. I can't undo the past and he's checked out completely.
As a man now I see why your husband want to go away.. Dont mistake but I have to say this. No man wants a women who doesnt care about home. And crying will only irritate him more. Get him some wine and once he is boozed up a bit, bring back your good old memories. That might help
** him!! What a **!! He's upset because his wife doesn't stay home, clean the house, cook for him and clean his **!! What sort of man is he?! This is the 21st Century, not the ** stone ages!! She travels for work and has asked him to join her, but he refuses.She's tried man!! It's him that's given up!!
Whatever age it is, women is still a women who has some responsiblities towards home. She should put her effort to be at home. If her career is so important then divorse is the only option. He atleast told that he dont want her because he dont want to travel with her. But, she dont want to leave him and her career. She need to make the decision at some point.
You'll never be happy with him. Divorce him and get another man.
He's a **. He already has another woman. No older guy goes away for a weekend for football unless it's a Super Bowl.
Don't waste your time with this loser, you might miss out on something great chasing a cad
He played football at a very large school, and will go with his old teammates to watch games. It's a big program and people tailgate, so I understand why he attends. The difference is that now he goes away without me. There are usually other wives and girls there and his family all lives in that area, so not unusual for me to go. He's gone twice in 3 weeks and both times said he didn't want me along, just a guys weekend. I'm not doubting maybe he was using it as a cover, or wanted to flirt and hookup. I also know that he stopped bringing me around friends and family, so I have no idea what anyone thinks. He's separated me from everyone. I feel very alone right now.
** him!! You can do better!! Now get off this website and divorce his **!! Stop feeling sorry for yourself!! You've tried and you cant try anymore!! What more does he want from you, blood?! Stop blaming yourself and just leave his **!! You deserve better and you need to realise this, before you drive yourself into a early grave, trying to save a relationship, that's not worth saving!! It's dead and buried, focus on yourself!!
Terrible story. I hope you make it through this pain. It is an awful thing. I've been through it too. It is best to get a divorce.
Just know that someday you will be appreciated by someone. Light will shine again.
I'm a guy. My wife basically said similar things. Hit me like a steam train. She moved into another bedroom for a while. Only moved back into the main bed room when she saw the devistating effect it had on the kids. So it's really cold and tense now. I feel empty.
I'm now ready to move out. I need warmth, trust, respect and so on from my partner. I'd hoped to grow old with her but she says she does not see a future for us. She seems to have no interst in trying to make it work.
In your case, I'd gather your self. Take a deep breath and tell him to leave. Go see a lawyer too.
Personally I would be hesitant to take him back and I suspect a while before I would be willing to be vulnerable again.
Also when men leave they usually already have another woman. Sometimes your best female friend. But we are often blind to this.
Thank you for the comment. Just talking on this site has helped me through today. I'm appreciative of random strangers caring enough to give advice. It is truly helping.
I think you do need to consider the possibillity that there is someone else already. That he is lieing about it to not hurt you more. How old is he? He might be experiencing a mid life crisis. But with how he is treating you, you need to get up, wipe your tears and tell him it's oké. Reverse psychology might do the trick. You being hysteric is exactly what he knew was going to happen. So stay as calm as possible. Go to him and tell him that he is absolutely right that there is no way you can live with a man like him. Return him the favor. You deserve better! Trust me, I had mine back in a month.