We got caught

For the last two years i have been hooking up with my best friend and room mate. We moved in together straight out of college and two months after moving in together we had our first "experience". We are both super busy and work crazy schedules but usually are on different shifts as we are both emerg nurses but at different hospitals and one afternoon before my shift i got out of the shower and sat down on the couch for a few minutes before getting ready.
I knew she was staying late that morning to help out and didn't expect her to come home so i decided to have a quickie by myself and of course she walked in on me. We were both embarrassed but i could tell right away that there was an excited tension in the room, She had been with one girl before but i had never so she led me to the bedroom and we did it (Only time i have ever been late for work). After that it happened a few more times in a one year span then a bit more often to where it kind of became a regular thing once a month or so (Time permitting) and we still both sleep in our own rooms unless one of us falls asleep in the others room.
We both booked three days off for a friends wedding and had a friend and her husband from out of town come stay with us, We told her we would give them one room and told them it was no big deal for us to share a bed for a couple nights. After the wedding we were both tipsy and h**** and tried to be quiet while we did our thing but the next day our friends husband left to go get something from the mall and my room mate was in bed still, She was obviously uncomfortable and tense so I asked her what was wrong thinking something happened between her and her husband BUT!!!
She looked at me and said "Soooo, um, You and Hailey?". My heart sank, I don't consider myself a lesbian, I still enjoy guys and plan to someday meet my dream man and marry him and have a dozen kids and the whole thing just right now its not in the cards, Me and My room mate have talked obviously concerning our "status" and we have agreed it is not a relationship just friends helping friends out to relieve stress and sexual frustration, We both still hook up with guys and both love it but when it only happens a couple times a year due to a lack of time not a lack of interest a girl can get frustrated and sometimes it is just nice to be held after having an o*****.
I tried to explain it to her but the more i talked the more it made us sound like a couple and the more awkward it got. Her husband came back and they did end up staying one more night but the whole day was just tense. I told Hailey she heard us and i know Hailey tried to talk to her as well but even when they left her husband went to put their stuff in the truck while we said goodbye and the last thing she said was "Hey, I'm happy for you guys...I hope it's everything you want" then gave us each an awkward hug as we still tried to explain ourselves before she left.
I know it is going to get out now, There is not a girl alive that after a couple glasses of wine would be able to keep that to herself and since it would have just made it more weird neither one of us actually asked her not to tell anyone. I am not as concerned about public perception as i am about losing friendships because my friends aren't comfortable being alone with me or something.

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  • You two are consenting adults. You don't have to justify what you two are doing. Anyway you look at it, it is still a relationship. Maybe not one with a commitment, but the friendship is no longer platonic. Which is fine, all that matters is how you and Hailey agree to whatever terms you have set up so neither gets hurt. You can't control what anyone thinks or says. You can continue to speak your truth and just tell them that you two are friends and roommates who occasionally hook up. But you don't consider or refer to one another as girlfriends. If you're friends are not able to deal with the arrangement or feel comfortable hanging out with you, than maybe they aren't your friends. I think close friends can handle anything and you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Maybe deal with each person if and when it comes up. Right now, you're projecting that they are going to run the other way when they see you. Continue to keep in touch with your friends as you would. Good luck!

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