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I just open up
I am 23 years old . Since i was a child i felt like i am inferior than others . I remember that others kids often did not like me . My mother was strict and smacked me . I started to jealous from a young age the appearance of other girls . In primary school i was jealous my best friend . In secondary school and high school i was jealous my second best friend who i am close with until these days . I feel like nobody like me for who i am . I feel like i am inferior and confined and i am sick of it . When i was a teenager i wanted friends so much and i was emotional but i remember that others laughed at me thinking i am stupid and then i started to have anger inside me . I started to hate myself. Now i feel empty . I am not as emotional as i was in my childhood and pubery . You may think i am a bad person but really i don't really care about anyone not even my parents, i only care if they have money to give me . And if my sister is at our house i get annoyed . And i don't want to pretend like i care when someone tells me something . To be honest there are people who treat me nice but it does not touch me in my heart . I start wanting to control other people and i would like it if they afraid of me . I need people when i am alone because i believe if i am alone it wiil destroy me and maybe i end up killing myself someday. I usually like the company of people i jealous , if i don't jealous someone then he/she is indifferent to me . But when i have people close to me i don't want them and i don't care about them and they left me empty . I am egocentric person , i know many people wouldnt like me for this . Deep down i like this side of me , the side that wants to control people but also deep down i have guilty because i must not feel this way . I express this side of myself when i like evil characters from cartoons . I often sympathise with little spoiled girls who jealous and wants control the world and use their parents for anything they want . Maybe its good i have not a super power because i believe i would be arrogant and more egoistic than now that i feel like i'm nothing .
Hi daddy i told her what you told me daddy . If you want tell me why you started them at the first place daddy .
Hi my prescious. I cant realy explain it my sweetie. But even when i was just little from age 8 and so. I would have felt kind off sad and seemed for know reasons princess. Still sometimes i am overcome with sadness angel. But i know it passes my love and will pass for you also sweetheart. Im so glad we can talk prescious. Your truely amazeing sweetie. As i will tell you again and again darling. You are the most honest person i ever talked too and also the sweetest and kindesd hearted person also. Wish as i have also told you angel that i knew you when you were little. What are you up too sweetheart at moment. Im so proud off you my love and would love you too be daddys girl angel. I beleave daddys other little girl must have drifted off too sleep at last. Our poor baby and wonder how she stays awake so long. Think we would have our hands full with our little girl princess. But she would for sure be in bed at 8 on school nights sweetie. I can allmost see her throwing a tantrum and stomp her feet. But we would bought be firm princess. Your doing an amazeing thing for her my love and make daddy so proud. I love you so much prescious. Your allways daddys little angel girl....
Hi daddy . I don't think i am so nice and great as you and little girl believe . I am egocentric person and since i was a child i was jealous easily others and i always felt like i was on the outside in every situation and company . Since i was a child i always felt i have a value if someone would like me . If i am alone i don't feel myself like i don't even have a personality . I feel that inside me there is only fear and jealousy that i pressure them and i behave with fear . I am afraid to end up alone because i can't stand my emptiness and i always wanted to be something . I always felt like nothing and wanting or trying to be something . Even if something is cruel i prefer to be this than to be nothing . I know it's not good what i said . It happen to pretend i am ** or ** just because i wanted to be something . I try to pressure myself and others that i am something . And i believe if someone really knew my real self he wouldn't like me . And i said i am so great and nice because i have an evil side too .
And i said i am not so great and nice because i have an evil side too *.
When i said some of my fantasies i wasn't lying but i wanted to pressure myself that i am something .
Its ok too have fantazies princess. You are as i said sweetheart the most honest person i ever talked too angel and nothing as said prescious would stop daddy from careing or loveing you any less my love...
Also my love. You are something and are loved. Just like you tell our baby girl too beleave shes a person off value and she matters. Well so do you angel. I take it shes falling assleep prescious. So proud off you angel. Love your daddy..
I will let you sleep daddys little doll. My two prescious, prescious angels are assleep. Remember you can tell daddy anything you like princess. I will never judge you and allways love you sweetheart. Also daddy will have some rest my love. I will check in on my two girls in a little while. Love you baby and sweet dream. Love from daddy..tree
I will never judge you my angel doll. A daddys love is unconditinal sweetheart. We cant help our thoughts princess. But can stop our actions prescious. Everybody has something that they dont like about themselves my love and dark secrets. Its sad you feel this way angel and your so young princess. Do you tell your councellor about your feelings darling. Im realy sad you feel this way princess. Dont ever be afraid too share your thoughts and heart with daddy sweetie. Im allways here for you my love and nothing you tell daddy would make me love you less or stop being proud off you. Please beleave me prescious that your allways daddys special girl and our little baby girl loves you also and cares deepley for you also. Daddy loves you so much and wish i was holding you now in bed princess and holding you. Love your proud daddy prescious....