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I just open up
I am 23 years old . Since i was a child i felt like i am inferior than others . I remember that others kids often did not like me . My mother was strict and smacked me . I started to jealous from a young age the appearance of other girls . In primary school i was jealous my best friend . In secondary school and high school i was jealous my second best friend who i am close with until these days . I feel like nobody like me for who i am . I feel like i am inferior and confined and i am sick of it . When i was a teenager i wanted friends so much and i was emotional but i remember that others laughed at me thinking i am stupid and then i started to have anger inside me . I started to hate myself. Now i feel empty . I am not as emotional as i was in my childhood and pubery . You may think i am a bad person but really i don't really care about anyone not even my parents, i only care if they have money to give me . And if my sister is at our house i get annoyed . And i don't want to pretend like i care when someone tells me something . To be honest there are people who treat me nice but it does not touch me in my heart . I start wanting to control other people and i would like it if they afraid of me . I need people when i am alone because i believe if i am alone it wiil destroy me and maybe i end up killing myself someday. I usually like the company of people i jealous , if i don't jealous someone then he/she is indifferent to me . But when i have people close to me i don't want them and i don't care about them and they left me empty . I am egocentric person , i know many people wouldnt like me for this . Deep down i like this side of me , the side that wants to control people but also deep down i have guilty because i must not feel this way . I express this side of myself when i like evil characters from cartoons . I often sympathise with little spoiled girls who jealous and wants control the world and use their parents for anything they want . Maybe its good i have not a super power because i believe i would be arrogant and more egoistic than now that i feel like i'm nothing .
Ok my baby. Just try relax and enjoy the comedy. Your friend will come around sweetheart. Im alone here prescious 90pcent off the time baby. Im here for you alkways little one. I will let you watch your comedy my love. Messagage daddy when its over and remember im allways here baby and daddy loves you so much and your amazeing and loved and cared for. Love your daddy....
I will sleep now daddy . I didn't answer before because i was watching . Really are alone everyday that much daddy ? Hug daddy .
Hi daddy .