I Compare My Used Husband to Virgin Ex's and Regret Marrying Him

I don't believe in religions, but I decided to wait until marriage because I didn't want random men to take advantage of me. I was still not judgmental about my dates' history. Virginity does not make one saint. I did things with them except for s**. And of course, I wanted it to be special.

I now feel like a loser for marrying my nonvirgin boyfriend. The fact that he is used is hitting me hard because he doesn't know how to make it all sparkling. It is like, "oh, let's do it to make you lose your virginity". He destroyed our first night by saying he wanted to first "teach" me despite how we already did many things together for years. Our other two nights were similar. Now I keep comparing him to my virgin ex's and feel depressed. They made romance special. They were creative. The touch was spicy and will always remain memorable. I had another nonvirgin boyfriend. He was just like my nonvirgin husband. There was nothing sparkling in his romance. Only after marriage, I am understanding things.

I regret marrying my boyfriend so much that it is leading me to some kind of heart problem. My personality is splitting and I am literally scared to be with myself.

I feel very much dishonored in bed with him. It hurts me to realize that he lost it because he was feeling miserable about being a virgin. This means I married someone who allowed himself to be voluntarily raped. He wasn't man enough to fight. I told him that if only he files rape charges against the guy friends who made him feel miserable things would get better between us. I know he is too scared to do that.

And now I have to see in bed what he did with other women. How nasty!!!! Talking to him about it is useless. He asks me, "how do we do it then?" He promised me he would not bring his history to bed, but he can't seem to make it possible. He doesn't know the function of s** in the marriage.

I feel cheated. I see now that marrying a nonvirgin guy makes a woman simply a baby producing maid in his house. At least that's how I feel about myself.

He thinks saying how much he loves me would make everything better. I can't discuss anything with him properly because he starts to cry and says that it is affecting him at his workplace. Why didn't he think about this before? He used to go around criticizing women who had his history. How come he didn't learn from his own criticism?

I should have dated students from medicine or law. Too many of them are virgin. My life would have been set in every way if I married one of them.

I will never forgive myself for the disaster I caused in my life by choosing him. I betrayed myself. I will see this marriage as its punishment. I do love him and I know he won't be able to live without me. It doesn't help though. He is not a man and I am straight. He is used. I am waiting for my life to end. Each passing day I see now is a sign that I am almost there. I am training myself to be a bot with no feelings, but it hurts too much.


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • What you're talking about has nothing to do with whether he's a virgin. Some men are romantic, and some aren't. There are plenty of men who make s** feel special even though they've done it before. The mistake you made is marrying someone who isn't romantic when that's clearly very important to you. It doesn't mean life is over, though. Also, how do you know that your virgin ex won't turn into your current husband after you guys have s**? Lots of men try harder in the beginning and calm down when they get settled into a long term relationship.

  • You need to have s** with someone else.
    Start to enjoy your s** and then you can start enjoying your life, what do you have to lose?

  • That "someone"

  • ^^ hello are you there?^^

  • Baggage.
    Get a life. Stop being so judgemental.
    Live in the moment.
    Love the one you're with.

  • I am doing the right thing. I refuse to be just a housekeeper.

  • So hung up on the virginity thing it's ruining a happy life. Pretty sad.

  • Actually, s** is a big part of marriage.

  • Wtf

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?