I am dead inside

When I was 11 I found my dad after he shot himself through the head. A few years later my mother died. When I was in my early twenties my older brother died. Two years ago I found out my younger brother who I hadn't seen in years died before he even turned 30. Just a few months ago a close friend died. Almost everyone who I ever loved is gone. There is nothing but emptiness and a bottomless canyon inside me now. I go on watching the days pass and the years slipping by until I can finally be with the ones I love. But I know I'm meant to have a long, lonely life as punishment for being such a horrible, weak person.



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  • Do you want a talking buddy?

  • What do you mean by talking buddy?

  • If you manage to try again, start a new life meet new people it will feel Amazing you actually start feeling again I thought I couldn't but somehow I can actually feel happy again so OP don't do anything stupid... You can start again

  • I've forced myself to have no emotions so I can't get hurt.

  • Sorry to hear that. There’s a reason to keep living so keep your head up.
    I once knew a young guy who’s entire family..mom, father, brothers and sisters were destroyed in a automobile accident.
    If was before a football game. They were all in in vehicle to go watch him play.
    No one knew how to break the news to him. It shocked the entire community.

  • Haha,tough luck

  • Dude. Not cool. OP, sorry for this guy.

  • Take care of you, people will try to take advantage of you now. I am also an orphanage facing the f ucking reality of this world

  • You're not alone *hugs*

  • Yes huggs and tears might heal injuries and insecurities

  • ? im here if you would like too talk. your on my heart and i send my love huggs...

  • Thanks. I do not someone to talk to.

  • ? would you like too talk huggs

  • I need to talk

  • Im here if you wish to chat huggs

  • I don't know if you could relate. I desperately wish for someone to talk to but no one can really understand.

  • I could not find the post and i truely mean it. im here if you wish to talk hugs..

  • Whilst the comment "I know how you feel" from someone who may be trying to demonstrate empathy (but without having a common shared experience) is unlikely to assist you, you are incorrect to assume than no one else on the planet can really understand. Depression and PTSD are illnesses that need to be treated like any physical illness. Part of the treatment for such illnesses is likely to include talking to others with shared experiences who will understand.

  • Yes thats true. But talking here really might not be the best platform.

  • Emotionally you will find it hard to grow close to others through fear of loosing them too, but death is inevitable. What you should have learned is the value of cherishing each precious moment. Go see a councilor. Tragedy early in life does not have to ruin your whole life, unless you allow it to.

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