A Smoking Holiday for Granddaughter Indie
Recently, my beloved wife agreed with me that it would be a beautiful thing to help our 5 year old granddaughter to begin her journey into becoming a little smoker, just like her Mummy, Dad, Nana, Aunty and everyone else in her family. You see, with my Aunty's encouragement, I began smoking and got heavily addicted when I was just 8, and it was the most pleasurable and exciting thing that had ever happened to me and I honestly believe that starting to smoke when you're just a child, and entering the adult world of addition, is the absolutely best way ever to become a smoker, so much better than smoking just because of peer pressure when you're 13 or something.
So, we all went away to the Peninsula for a week recently, with our gorgeous GD Indie, and when we were on the way, both my wife and I lit up our smokes, with the window only opened a crack, so that the car was really smoky and we told Indie that this holiday was going to be special and that it would be a smoking holiday. We told her, if she was a really good girl, we had a special surprise for her. Once we got to our holiday home, we were all sitting in front of the fire, and I asked Indie if she would like to come and have a cuddle, and she came and sat on my lap. I reached for my packet of menthols, gave Indie my lighter and asked her if she would like to light my smoke for me, and, once she worked out how to flick the lighter, I drew in deeply and blew the smoke into a big cloud between us and told Indie that what she needs to understand is that the reason people smoke, and that they can't quit is that it actually feels really beautiful to feel the smoke going into your lungs . I said, because everyone else in our family loves to smoke, you will almost certainly smoke too, and that, once she began, she will love it too. Over the course of next hour, we all snuggled up, and I told Indie that I began smoking when I was just a little boy about her age, and I showed her some photos of kids smoking, and said to Indie that I could tell she was curious, and as I said this, I brought my cigarette to her lips and said for her to try a wee puff.
What followed is, with lots of encouragement from her grandparents, Indie was shown step-by-step how to inhale into her lungs, and we watched on with much pleasure as she felt her first hit. As the day went on, we made sure Indie felt completely safe, that she would not get in any trouble, and encouraged her to keep having puffs of our cigarettes. Later in the day, both me and my wife told Indie that we knew that she was just the sort of girl that....see my next post