My stepbrother was Friend w/Benefits

Our parents got together when I was 11 and he was 13. At first we didn’t get along (he annoyed me) but then we became really great friends and we would hang every day. We’d usually hang out in one of our rooms and watch funny videos and show each memes or just talk or get high. He was always there me and I was there for him. He was a very important person in my life. I was in my first real relationship for about a year and a half. I found out that guy had been engaged the entire time and I dumped him (he was my first.) My stepbrother was the first one I told. He comforted me and helped me through it. He would even help me pick through guys on Tinder and we’d joke about them. Then one night he was coming home from a football game and got really flirty with me through text. Sure enough, being teenagers, we started cuddling and making out. Of course… it escalated. I took his virginity. He had messed around with a previous girlfriend before but never followed through. At the time, he was someone I trusted deeply. We genuinely had a wonderful friendship. So we continued to fool around, it was exciting, sneaky and hot. We would fool around mostly between relationships but it did get to the point where I only “had the hots” for him (and not a current bf) We both cheated on people we dated. I have to admit, I didn’t feel bad when we first hooked up while dating someone (the guy I was dating at the time was abusive (physically and emotionally.) He eventually graduated and joined the military. We still hooked up whenever he came back home but I could tell our friendship was dying out. Then whenever he was around, I could tell something was off. So i confronted him over the phone. Turns out, he was starting to feel guilty. Not because he was with someone. His morals about the secretive hook ups had changed. At that point, I realized I didn’t want to be his source of guilt. So we mutually agreed to end it. However, there were terms. We could only tell the person we’d end up marrying. Like we had to know for sure, before we told them, that they were the one. We’re both married now. My husband knows, I’m not sure if he told his wife. But if he hasn’t told her and doesn’t want to, I understand. It was difficult for my husband. At family events we had “act normal”. This included my husband having to get along with my stepbrother and myself with his wife. Lately, I’ve just been missing that friendship we had. I wish we had just stayed friends, because he was definitely one of my best friends.

Feb 24

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  • You both should have kept between yourselves

  • I think that telling your s/o was the right choice. They’re a life partner. Someone you shouldn’t have to keep secrets from. That love you regardless of your past… If you keep secrets from you s/o then obviously you think they’d leave because if it. They should know what you’re getting into.

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