I'm tired of being hated.
I'm in my 30's, gay, work 2 jobs, go to school, been single for 5 years. My last relationship seemed to happen more out of circumstance rather than really love. We dated for a short time. Then after being robbed at gunpoint in my neighborhood, I decided that it was time for me to leave where I was staying. He was more tired of living with his roommates and having a hard time traveling to places he wanted or needed.
We found a place together to move to, only being together for 3 months. It looked like it was going to be a happy ending, until a few months later, we started growing more apart from each other. No fights or anything like that, just no true sparks happened. We did break up, and it felt easy to do, but after he left, I never felt more alone in my life.
I took my time to vent and let go, but now it's hard to see not only other guys around me with partners (be it short or long term) but my ex is now married (yes to another man). I feel like as days go by, I try to look and evaluate myself. I try to be social, while maintaining my 2 jobs and school, I try to be a good listener to my friends, many of my friends tell me that I'm such a wonderful and caring person that I should have a partner that reflects how I am.
It just eats at me so much that I still feel alone like this day after day for 5 years. I've tried answering personal ads with no replies back, going out to the bar or club not expecting much. In turn I get more two-faced rejections. I've tried social events or volunteer events and I get passed by even with the worst volunteering duties.
I guess my main frustration is that I am so tired of being teh good guy all the time, and people don't recognize me. I'm tired of being the one that everyone loves to avoid on purpose. I wish and I really do wish that someone is out there for me that really appreciates me for me being that good person that I am told I am.