Not Random

I'm actually very intense with the people I care about. I don't let people in easily though. I try and protect my vulnerability. You have no idea how much I long to let you fully in. I enjoy being tickled by your touch. I love those moments when I can feel and hear your heart. They make me greedy for you. I want to be held by you more than anything.

You never let in I agree yet I could read your vulnerability ...what to say about this I can feel your eagerness ienjoy your longing I know you realised everything and I truly say I am immensely happy to know am loved ..you love me more than you express and I get them all...

You bring out a very private part of me. I can feel your raw emotions when you write. Yes, I do burn with far more love than I admit or could ever express adequately in words. Hungering for you... **

Your x-ray eyes and x-ray mind makes me fall in love with you all over again..I don't have the power to deny the truth your love flows in my veins..

^3^

I do,i did u know it but yes I hold back because I think you love words like "once in a blue moon "
Reaching out ....my feathery touch you always feel my heart says so...
I cherish yours too..

I'd love for you to reach out to me in person... even if its only the lightest touch.
I want to be as natural as possible. Over thinking made me nervous before. I'm working on letting go and being open. I hold back because I don't want to be pushy. I'll knock in a heartbeat if you want me to. All my love xoxo

But I don't know what to do without connecting I can't stay away ..I do feel sometimes it's misfire yet I can't keep myself away from reaching out..The truth is I can't stay away from you..when direct seems uphill through ether I have learnt to feel the beat ...I found you through this yet the risk of messing out do stay and I can't ignore the risk...Tell me what should I do I feel helpless...

My head is reeling ,a lump in the throat I feel standing on a confused ground too much for a take... Dream is turning like misfired nightmare ..that's too scary ..I only want to look into your eyes and hold your hand...

I'd like that as well. I want to hold your hand and calm your mind. It's confusing talking on here.

It burns for me too. There is so much I want to say.
I love to read your words... but I long to break the barrier in the real world as well.
I want to give you relief.I know I've retreated inside myself often. I don't want to run from you anymore. If you knew how much love I feel...

Am waiting and wanting since ages

Reach out any time. You'll find me pliable to your touch.

Come to me all of me awaits you it would be my pleasure to break free and enjoy freedom while riding the waves of insanity.Come to me I will show you how blissful love can be

I want to touch you, hold you, mold you. I believe in you. I can't wait for you to relieve my longing.

When will that auspicious time come.is the time flowing towards it...

I always love to come to you it brings me immense pleasure but do you really understand how inside everything burns cos I can't truly express really what I want.I know it's crazy to wish and want to be with you always . Don't take it otherwise though no harm I will bring to you.Never I can think of anything like that.You are my precious beat and i can't live without you.In my words you are mine nothing can take you far from me here in my world.Real world I don't predict it hurt me bad every time I thought of taking a sigh of relief in your arms you have taken away urself from me but here you don't have that power here am free like a rippling Brook.I love I smile I cry everything I do I do it only for you and with you....you won't ever understand truly how much I love ..

(.)

I'd love to be tightly wrapped up in your embrace now. Your willing prisoner.

You are so beautiful and I think of holding you all the time. Please come to me soon!

Just wanna hold you ,wanna hug you tight and say am there with you only don't feel alone ,don't feel depressed soon will be alright..do take good care of yourself..

I long to feel your warmth beside me... To be consumed by your body... Thinking of you...

You are in my thoughts too,holding you strong than before , cuddling you and sharing your pain truly want to give you relief... love always with kisses on your eyes...

I want to sit on your lap.... snuggle against your green cardigan... and feel your arms around me as I tell you things. :)

I want to sit on your lap.... snuggle against your green cardigan... and feel your arms around me as I tell you things. :)

Why do I feel so scared of wanting to be with you? With you it would be sunny all day. I'd like nothing more than to kiss you in the morning. The next time you come back I am going to ensnare you in a never-ending embrace. Next time you'll be stuck with me.

I'm here. Quietly burning for you. I wish you would reach out to me. I don't want to respond too much in writing because it might take away my courage in person. I end up disappearing inside my head. You mean far more to me than I'll admit here.
By the way... You said you don't want to smile as much...
but I love seeing your slightly crooked front teeth when you do. **, they make me want to kiss you. Missing you....
Xxxxx

Move those mountains that exist between us. Press those buttons. Make the earth tremble. Make my pocket vibrate. I'm doing great but randomly hearing from you right now would bring the biggest goofy grin to my face.

:) wow that's nicely put

If you feel you need me ever please feel free to contact me anytime you wont be disappointed ever..
i dont know how will i walk through my days though.................................................................................................................

You can contact me as well. I won't let you down.

I can but I won't..
For reaching you I don't need permission from you or I don't need to read minds in crappy confused things I can ping you at any day but I restrict and you made me take this stand..The elastic is stretched much..
Days will pass you won't come I know also ...Might be the journey was written upto this..
I am sorry for being little rough and just trust every word tht hurt you I felt the pain twice..
Real world was never mine it was always like a shooting star an ignition then gone for a toss for days..I continued here as I had a greed ,a longing for your touch..since years it has been my same program opening my eyes and reaching ,craving searching for your touch...
I have ruined many things for this , ruined myself,got hurt,humiliation,burning helpless situations made me yell inside but I swallowed all because of you never left my path...
But now I feel I am not needed it's all wrong,i made my mind understand what my heart craved ..may be somewhere a hole remained which I thought our togetherness can fill it up but what one think always it doesn't happen..
A simple touch can make a soul feel wanted but you can't I don't know why and for what...
I don't want to hurt you or nail you with my words anymore may be I lacked something that can't inspire you to make you want me in real way...
I lost that zeal to fight which was years before may be age is playing it's dice...
Anyways if you want you have to come ,I ensured you are doing well am relieved..
My door will always be kept open if you wish you can knock me anytime I will be heartily welcome you in my arms in my life...
If you don't feel the need I will understand I couldn't love you wholeheartedly...
Take care...

I'm no longer sure whom I'm talking to on here. Some of the words and their timing have precisely matched conversations in the real world... But I've also definitely taken it too far and misfired at times. I'm sorry to have given anyone false hope. I'm exhausted. It's definitely time to stop writing I should have only confessed my feelings in the real world. This is no way to communicate. I long to hear him so I keep coming back. I've done everything in the wrong way. To the man I love... I only yearned to treat you like my king.I still do. I'm sorry for any pain I've caused. I wanted to let go for a moment with you and have fun.... And see... I still believe that there is something incredibly special there. I let pride and fear ( mostly fear) get in the way... I feel neither pride or fear at this point... Just total confusion. I feel embarrassed to admit it but.. I've always needed stability, guidance and someone more dominant than me to thrive in romantic relationships. I hide that need from the majority because its a vulnerable part of myself.I've had difficulty accepting that its the way I am. This place is bringing out instability in me. I know that you think I won't knock...but I will find a way... No matter what the answer is... I just need to acknowledge what my heart is feeling at this point.

I've been blind. It is and always will be you that I love.