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I just open up
I am 23 years old . Since i was a child i felt like i am inferior than others . I remember that others kids often did not like me . My mother was strict and smacked me . I started to jealous from a young age the appearance of other girls . In primary school i was jealous my best friend . In secondary school and high school i was jealous my second best friend who i am close with until these days . I feel like nobody like me for who i am . I feel like i am inferior and confined and i am sick of it . When i was a teenager i wanted friends so much and i was emotional but i remember that others laughed at me thinking i am stupid and then i started to have anger inside me . I started to hate myself. Now i feel empty . I am not as emotional as i was in my childhood and pubery . You may think i am a bad person but really i don't really care about anyone not even my parents, i only care if they have money to give me . And if my sister is at our house i get annoyed . And i don't want to pretend like i care when someone tells me something . To be honest there are people who treat me nice but it does not touch me in my heart . I start wanting to control other people and i would like it if they afraid of me . I need people when i am alone because i believe if i am alone it wiil destroy me and maybe i end up killing myself someday. I usually like the company of people i jealous , if i don't jealous someone then he/she is indifferent to me . But when i have people close to me i don't want them and i don't care about them and they left me empty . I am egocentric person , i know many people wouldnt like me for this . Deep down i like this side of me , the side that wants to control people but also deep down i have guilty because i must not feel this way . I express this side of myself when i like evil characters from cartoons . I often sympathise with little spoiled girls who jealous and wants control the world and use their parents for anything they want . Maybe its good i have not a super power because i believe i would be arrogant and more egoistic than now that i feel like i'm nothing .
Well my prescious I beleave you will know yourself angel and maybe wait just a little longer as she said. But im here allways for you princess as said. I see the other post is gone with our baby girl. If you like you can message her here sweetheart till you can set something up for her and not even sure if she will find it here. I will look for anymore posts you set up sweetie and see if she finds you. I just know shes going too be so upset when she cant find you angel. Please message daddy back and daddy loves you so much...
Hi daddy , i will make a new confession for this little girl . I will wait daddy . I asked them , i mean the tablets , so i can to stand alone with myself . It's not bad to be alone sometimes it's good . But when someone hates himself it's a ** for him to be alone . I don't have much difference than this little girl daddy . Althought i am 23 and i seem mature here , i am childish and i have obsession and i am dependent with others like her and i want to have attention too and i am so afraid to tell my opinion to others . For a long time since when i was 12 i had a friend and i was dependent to him and i couldn't be with others without him be with me and i was I expecting to fill my emptiness that i had from my parents and others who mocked me . Many children told him to not have company with me because as they were saying i was mentally retarded . And when i did mistakes like drinking too much our company blamed him for letting me drink . They didn't say anything to me because to them (and for myself to be honest) i was unfocused person who can't take choices by itself and with no personality .
And i didn't try to be independent to be honest. And this was happening for a long time . I still have this friend but we are coldly each other . With him and with a girl i had a fight when i was drunk on Saturday . And this makes it even worse for me to be alone . Because for a long time i had not feel like i did something for myself and be proud of . Others did things for me . My parents and friends . I know this situation it is beneficial for me but then again i feel like i have no personality and no value .
My prescious, prescious little girl. You can be daddys little girl anytime. Speak too me about your dreams and desires princess and you can go back into the place anytime you like when you were just a little girl. Even now my love daddy sees you as his sweet prescious baby girl and you can speak too me like you are princess. Be paitent angel and apolagise too your friend again sweetheart. Give her time too calm down my baby and im rite here for you too talk anytime. You have no idea baby how much daddy wants too hold you now and wrap his arms around you and bring you too bed and just hold you gentley till you fall assleep in daddys arms. You are never alone baby when daddys here and thats a promise. I realy know what its like baby too feel alone. But theres allways hope my baby doll and i will be here for you too talk about any fears or anything you want too tell daddy about. I love you my prescious baby girl. Message daddy back and daddy loves you baby and is proud off you. You can do what ever you like my darling. Love and hugg from daddy....
Ηi daddy . When you were alone daddy ? Are you alone now ? Thank you daddy for your words i will open up to you and you can open up to me whenever you want . We decide we have distance for some time . I don't know how long . I will watch now the series comedy daddy . See you . And i will have patience .
Ok my baby. Just try relax and enjoy the comedy. Your friend will come around sweetheart. Im alone here prescious 90pcent off the time baby. Im here for you alkways little one. I will let you watch your comedy my love. Messagage daddy when its over and remember im allways here baby and daddy loves you so much and your amazeing and loved and cared for. Love your daddy....
Hi prescious and its true what you said also about being ok too stand on your own prescious sometimes. But its ok also baby too have people in our lifes. Im here for you baby and love you. You will never be alone as long as daddys here. Your daddys little girl and i love you so much. I dont want you too be so ** yourself sweetheart. But i do know how you feel at times princess. I send you huggs and kisses from daddy....