Funny Confessions

Not the submissive type

He whispered shh shh quietly in my ear with his hand around my mouth and pressed the gun to my back then head. And.. I liked it! What's wrong with me? I have been working out for about 7 months at a gym around where I live. They specialize in defensive tactical training. We were working on defense against an armed combatant with a gun. The... (more)

I was painting

I was painting my clock I had made with the garage closed. I huffed so many fumes I nearly passed out. Instead I started halucinating. I thought I was a bird and got naked, like a bird I guess, climbed on my roof, and jumped off.

Cheese

I love cheese

NAKED IN THE RAIN

During last night's thunderstorms, I ran naked around my backyard. It felt like being a kid again. I am 58 years old.

Im scared f

I am obese and I cant find my toes

Brother is a **

I caught my brother ** in a bedroom closet I was totally infatuated with a girl but ** off instead I think I get sick when I wack off

Yummy super powers

I have a strange ability. If you were to have me eat a bread type product, I could tell you the recipe with 80% accuracy.

50 Shades of Grey

I fully enjoyed every aspect of the movie 50 Shades of Grey. I thought the romance was touching and the ** scenes were exactly what they should be for a movie. The ending of the movie brought me to tears. I'm an 18 year old boy.

** @ church

Gave a guy a ** outside church doors on a Sunday afternoon & a ** in the parking lot

I brought mono to my school.

I was at my friends house and her cousin was over. her cousin and i really liked eachother. we made out like every chance we could. and that was like two weeks ago ad i have mono and so does half of the school. i knew i had mono like the day after we made out so i had a plan to cough/sneeze on all of the people i didnt like. the school emailed... (more)

Bi-Curious no more

I have for many years fantasized about sucking a **. I had never done it even as a kid, which I later learned many of my childhood friends were sucking each other's **.
But I digress... I recently resolved to do it. A male massage therapist found on... (more)

Maid

2 years ago I was all alone and there is dis ** maid working in my house she always bent too much to show her cleavage and I was too eager to ** them she came to my room and as always bentmuch more than needed and this gave a hard in my (more)

I want to be a slave

I don't know why but I constantly fantasize about being a slave. It can be both sexual and non sexual. I just want someone to claim me and their property. I want to be owned. I want them to exert their power and control over me in whichever ways they want. I want to have no rights, no thoughts of my own, no freedom. I want to be (more)

103

I want to beat up Hans Strudel

The Toaster Strudel kid Hans Strudel needs to have his little blond face punched a few times. I want to see how he thinks of warm, flaky, gooey TOASTER STRUUUUDELS then!

I've been catfishing this guy for 6 months

Ok my confession is that I have this 30 year old guy thinking I'm some hot 25 year old beautiful flight stewardess. We started chatting innocently enough and after a few weeks this guy tells me he thinks he's falling in love with me. We met on a social networking site. I had a fake profile and fake photo of this hot woman I found online, I... (more)

I threw a rock at a kid I didn't like

He was at my grandfathers farm and he was one of the worst pests I have ever known. He would come over while I had friends over and do and say stupid things. He was five years younger than me so like a lot of kids with younger brat brothers you can understand. Wed tell his ** to go home but he would... (more)

He really tried lol

My ex-boyfriend , who now has a new lover , a guy in which I totally dislike . My ex called me tonight and was telling me about his day . He knows I love the youtuber Pewdiepie . So he proceeded to tell me how he spent literally ALL of today watching "Crazy Wheels" . I was like . " "What's that ? You mean Happy Wheels ?" He was like "Oh yeah yeah... (more)

Wish I could find out more

I'm really glad my ex-boyfriend told me he had ** with his cousin.

I am so happy I am skinny!

When I was fat I used to wonder when will I ever get a skinny body. But now that I am skinny people jealous and I know it! It feels so nice to be one of the skinny ones and to finally wear clothes that fit. I am so much more prettier. But now I can't help but laugh at the fat people… :\ kinda rude but man it feels so great to be SKINNY

calling people

I like to call random people and brag about my 8 inch ** and tell them how big and fat it is and tell them to ** it for me and drink my **. And it turns me on when guys say homophobic stuff and threaten to... (more)

My friend is crazy

My friend made a minion out of clay her sister smooched it already so I squished more she said she could f***ing kill me right now and couldn't stop cursing she came in crying I kept laughing she told me to leave I said You can stop being a brat and stop crying I shut her up I was thinking thank god she stopped be a freaking brat now I question... (more)

Mothers

I make my mom presents and she thanks me but my brothers don't she told me that there a**holes I laughed

Jack And Diane

For so long in I always thought the lyrics to the Mellencamp song said "changes come around real soon, make us swimming in bed". Of course it actually says is "changes come around real soon, make us women and men." I thought he was talking about puberty and wet dreams lol.

Bowling

One time we made fun of my friend for getting the bowling ball stuck in the gutter and then it happens to me and the adult got yelled at for getting the ball herself and so I had to get it he guy and I told him my friend got it stuck again and I got back and they were laughing at me and i said joke on you because I told him it was you best day... (more)

I want

I want a red rider bb gun

**

I met a pretty Mexican woman on badoo. I arranged to go see her tonight. She gave me her address. I drove there and she texts me on the way and tells me she's a granny...which is cool. I get there and who I thought was her (pic was slightly different than in person) opens the door and we get busy. She texts me and calls me a liar says I never... (more)

I like to have woman kick me in the **

That I like to have woman kick me in the **. The only problem is finding a woman that is willing to take advantage of it.

Dump

I was wanting to take a shower and I was naked so I fartrd and I accidentally took a dump on my foot so then I had to walk to the bathroom dragging my leg ...I was 11 when this happened

I love embarassing people and making them blush

I really love to embarrass people and make them blush. I can't help it, it's just so funny. Especially the really shy sensitive people. I enjoy doing it to both guys and girls but its even better when you make a guy blush and you watch their face get redder and redder in front of everyone. Those with blushing problems get even more embarrassed... (more)

Girls RULE

Girls RULE! I love to kick boys in their **. I'm great at it. I watch them fall down looking sick to their stomach holding their ** like the end of the world. Their voice gets high pitched when they are on the ground in pain. They are shout "why?" In a... (more)

BallBusting

I was at school and this boy kept calling me names like "diva" or "Hannah the weirdo" and I was getting ticked off at this guy talking me down being a **. He followed me wherever I went he would make fun of me and harass me and one day I was outside and he called me BS and I turned around and told... (more)

Attractive & **?

I received a legitimate email from OkCupid that, based on profile clicks, I am now amongst the most attractive female users on the entire site. Also, when I hang out alone I'm more comfortable **. I am the only one who can appreciate this information. :/

Animal **

I wanna have ** with dog or goat. whenever I see a dog or ship,it turns me on.Even I masturbated by seeing mating of dog in animal planet.Ohh god that was so great.Idk but i wanna try.In future whenever i will 1become rich,Ill wanna have a yard full of ships and dogs to get laid.Cuz life is just... (more)

Drink puke

Hey guys.I am jack from china.I wanna drink my own puke.The chinese food is so delicious so whenever i eat good food.I like to taste them again.so by drinkin my own puke will be better option.

I want to be peed on

I have this desire for someone to pee on me. Preferably a hot woman. I want to know what it feels like. I want to experience the thrill of the humiliation and degradation of being used as someone's toilet. I'd even be willing to pay for someone to do it to me. Anyone want to give me a (more)

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