Funny Confessions

Whats up

I purposely make fake confessions that are ** to make the site more popular.....i`m not the only one. only 2 of my 16 were real. which ones were they?

CHANGED MY BOYFRIENDS DATING ** PROFILE TO GAY LOL

I DID SOME RESEARCH ON MY BOYFRIENDS PHONE AND HAD FOUND 2 DATING/CASUAL ** WEBSITES HE WAS LOGGED INTO. SO I CHANGED THEM BOTH TO GAY! NOW IF HE LOGS IN HE'LL SEE A BUNCH OF PENQIS POPPING UP ON THE SCREEN. ** .

I wish I was alive.

** this life. Yeah, ** it all I want to travel the whole ** world. Never work a day in my life. Want to taste ever food have every kind of **. Touch every... (more)

Reading texts and messages in my head...

I'm not judgemental at all in this regard, but if I know a guy is gay I automatically read his texts in my head in a girl voice. #justnoticed

BINGO BOING!

My dog's stomach was very upset, so i put him in the car and we went to the vet and on our way to the vet... i killed a cat..
isn't it ironic?
i adopted a child from over seas to rescue him from child labor and on his birthday we went to build-a-bear workshop...
isn't it ironic?
it's like rain, on your wedding day.
like a free ride... (more)

Farts

I like the smell of my own farts ! Especially after eating soybeans

Dont ** with me

Sometimes i come on to this site and i just hope that some one can relate
i ** hate people!!!!
i HATE movies that make you try to believe something that will never happen.
i hate the titanic.... COME ON PEOPLE U KNOW THAT ** BOAT IS GOING TO... (more)

The boys Parents

A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and daddy doing?"
The mother replies, "Well you know hat daddy has a big tummy, and sometimes I have to get on top of it... (more)

I came back.

I pop on here alot. When I need to vent. So I came back this time and one of my confessions is in the top confession box. I laughed until I clicked it and realised I still feel the same.

Baby Wipes

At home we all use baby wipes o wipe our buts. It's a lot beter than toilet paper, far more hygenic.

Ouch!

My ** hole sore coz i jus had the biggest **! hahaha

When I was a child....

I thought there were two "N"s in the alphabet. I thought this all the way until like 3rd grade. i find it funny now that i used to sit there and think why the second one wasnt on the wall paper. when i explain it you'll understand. Ok there is the first one. l m N o p. but in the song it goes W X Y and Z. but i heard W X Y N Z.

Nobody wants a UniBrow

When i was in elementary school i had huge eyebrows and a uni brow. my family used to make fun of me for it. so did people at school. so one day after my shower i decided to use my moms razor to shape my eyebrows.
As im in the middle of carefully trimming my eye brows with a razor my sister came and banged on the door for me to hurry up. I was... (more)

Teeny Weeny!

A few days ago, I accidentally walked in on my brother taking a **. He went ** on me for opening the door without knocking, but I really think he was mad because he doesn't want anyone to know what a tiny (more)

The best spam you'll ever get

Ever since I got my own iPhone, I love to send naked pictures of myself to random email addresses.
I'm an attractive girl, and while I still live with my parents, I have hours to kill every night. I take extremely explicit pictures of my body, everything from ** close-ups to full body shots... (more)

Budica budica bootylicious

Boom chucka lucka does your ** smell like kaka let me smell.. ** **!

Special friend with special affinity !

So, i have this friend, and shes like supper funny and cool and stuff, but she's the type of girl with EXTREMELY bad luck!
shes always or tripping, or doing dumb questions, or falling, or bumping into stuff, or forgetting stuff, and bla bla bla.
obviously, NO-ONE, not even I would have thought that she could actually be so special, and have... (more)

Pad Waxing Horror

You know when you're young all you want to be is grown up? Once, I had a friend coming over to my house when I was in year 4 for a sleepover, and we were really curious about how to act older and be big girls.
I remember going into my mums draw and getting out a pad for no reason and asking my friend is she wanted one. She said she was fine... (more)

Who cares?

Today during a summer thunderstorm I made time to take off my clothes and go dancing in the rain in my underwear.That is all.

The Get Away

I had a hard month that summer, every single one of my family is putting every little blame on me!! I did nothing!! When my brother came home with his fiance to get marry. I took his fiance - as my brother told me - to the hotel to get marry, but sadly I got her to the wrong hotel and the marrige is off. So then, everyone had me with a look of... (more)

If Only You Knew......Tee Hee

If you knew that every time I saw you, I thought about all the weird, dirty ** dreams I have about you, you'd probably be horrified. Me? I just laugh to myself when I think of what your reaction would be. Have a good day Jase! :)

** for me

I have lots of fun using a vacuum cleaner...to ** ..i put some sort of lube on my peter..Vaseline..or k-y jelly and turn the vacuum on and ** my peter into the hose moving the hose up and down like my hand...then i move the hose to a spot where... (more)

Action Games

My ** is straight, I am a normal girl, but, I like playing boys games such as Call of duty, battlefield, resident evil, WWE and many!! I have bought my PS3 instantly when it has been on the stocks, then I realized that the games should be actions for me to be thrilled. I don't know, but I like that, so... (more)

Really messing up

For misspelling everything and anything like masturbation which i thought was ** until not long ago

Tee shirt....

So my sister is a HUGE control freak always bossing me around even tho she's younger than me, and she's always telling every one what to do, she's very responsible but in a haughty way that just makes every one want to punch her, and then there's me, clumsy irresponsible and pushing adulthood soon, well anyways my sister made these really cute tee... (more)

Doctor who

When i am bored or on my own i like to imagine i am the Doctor with Amy, Rory and River song going on our little adventures. And i like to imagine them as episodes in my head,

Kill yourself

I think it's hilarious to tell depressed people on these forums that they should commit suicide. I like to think about the lonely, depressed dipshits who kill themselves because of what I say. I AM THE MASTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, **!

Why prevent suicide?

Why are we trying to keep people from killing themselves? Seriously, isn't it a person's right to end his or her life if he or she chooses?
Maybe I'm just saying that because I get suicidal sometimes. Maybe it's because it ** me off to no end when I read the confessions of suicidal people and see... (more)

Indulgence

All I want to do is play videogames, eat and have **.
is this wrong?
I hate having to work and going to school and having social obligations.
If i won 100million dollars i'd just buy a decent sized house somewhere.. buy a really rigged up computer, play games all day and buy expensive... (more)

My gay friend.

A few months back I met this guy. I'm straight myself but I'm willing to admit when I see an attractive looking dude, and this guy was pretty good looking. All the girls were attracted to him. Anyway me and him and a couple of other guys would hang out around the weekends and drink and sometimes go clubbing.
One night after drinks and... (more)

My sisters sticky sock

Once I was home alone and my sister had these really soft fleece socks. It looked good so I jacked off in one of them and blew my load inside. My mother was coming in the house so I threw it under her bed and completely forgot about it. Quite some time later when it got cold out...she was putting on the socks at the front door before going out... (more)

Thank God that we are both nerds

I'm a nerd. So much of one that when I am at my boyfriends rock shows and there are 300 people packed into the bar/club/whatever going insane. I'm sitting selling shirts and reading Harry Potter Draco/Ginny fanfiction on my phone. I kept the nerdy side of myself a secret for a while, but one day I accidently went on a 25 minute Star Trek tangent... (more)

Toe fun

I have a secret desire to lick girls feet and ** on their toes while i pleasure myself... just about every bare foot ... or in flip flops turns me on...especially if they have painted toes, and i get so excited seeing them....and they make me want to .... off..i even paint my toes some times..and i... (more)

He is so hot!

I confess that I am a teenager who finds Alan Rickman (Gawd, that voice, and those eye!). I just love to hear him speak...It sends shivers down my spine. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone because I am afraid they'd believe me mad, but, I do think he is an incredibly attractive man.

Cereal

I through a wet corn falke at a solid object, and I liked the sound that it made.

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