Health Confessions

It's a beautiful day.

Unseasonably warm. Sunny. And it ** because I can't work up the motivation to get up and stop crying. I hate being 13 and feeling like my life is over. I hate my depression.

That I am so totallly drunk on Viognier right now.
Yeah so I'm getting skinny eating cake, drinking Viognier and Vodka, and eating soup all thet ime.
I eat salads, eat soup, eat in moderation and drink fresh squeezed juices and then have a little bit (and sometimes a lot of) a treat.
Whee! I hacked the system.
Just a bit over 1000 cal a... (more)

Fat.

I am so fat.
I have been fat all of my life.
I weigh 200 lbs, and I'm 5'3".
I'm a 16 year old female.
I am finally sick of being this way though, and I'm doing something about.
But, I would like to have a weight loss buddy/partner. Male or female it doesnt matter. 16-25.
However, how am I supposed to ask somebody?
Sigh..
Either way I'm... (more)

** massage

I'm a professional massage therapist. Male, mid-20s, decent-looking, muscular. I have lots of student clients who enjoy getting massages from me. I also offer them a nice discount. I have spent many years improving my massage, and I give a fantastic massage that always leaves my clients in heaven. My little secret is that I really enjoy it too. I... (more)

I dont know whats wrong with me

I've been suffering from anxiety for as long as I can remember. Lately its been hard for me to control my attacks and the worst part is that I get them so randomly. One minute I'm happy & the next I'm sobbing and out of breath. I don't have any reason to feel sad but I do. My close friend thinks I'm depressed but I don't feel it. I'm stuck I don't... (more)

It will never go away

I have bipolar disorder. It will never go away. Even though I am careful, I will still have episodes throughout my life. I can't fix this. I'm so ashamed.

Tummy upset

I often get nausea and upset tummy, I wish someone would rub my belly for me as it gets so big and bloated. I need some relief but can not be physically sick. I want a tummy rub so bad. Will someone rub my poor sick tummy?

Shes pregnant

This girl. Ive known her since 6th grade. We've been on and off friends. She's known for being a **, wanting attention, and faking. We are both freshman. I don't like her a whole lot. But I can still confide in her and stand her. She's currently in the hospital, she just found out she is pregnant... (more)

In control.

I just weighed myself, I'm down to 7 stone (99 pounds). I thought this would be enough but it's not. I still feel fat. I still cut myself nearly every time I eat. I still don't have a flat stomach. Sure I'm boney, but not in the right places.
I'm cold all the time, and tired. I get depressed a lot, and have taken the day off work because I... (more)

Just is

I'm tired. I feel like I lasted too long. I feel like that thing growing in the container that's at the back of the fridge, left too long in the cold and dark. I've turned ugly, smelly, and altogether revolting. No one wants to be around when the lid comes off. Just the smell of the rotted inside is enough to make anyone ill.

Why?

I feel like im living in a paralel universe watching the world as it is around me.
My life is empty, it contains nothing, i am living in the shadows. I see everything, I hear everything, but none of it is mine.
I am alone, and a slow calm insanity consumes the way I live.
Im insane, but totally normal.
what is the purpose of living?
what... (more)

Almost at the breaking point

I'm coming to a point now where I'm seriously considering suicide. I think about it all day long; the ways I could do it. How I would spend the last few days or hours. It's become an obsession. I write about it constantly. I write suicide notes and revise them obsessively, but I usually end up throwing them out. I don't think I actually would... (more)

Nothing is as it seems.

Blonde. Semi-Skinny. Smile. Cute clothes. Doesn't seem like I'd be emo, does it?

What tourettes syndrome really is...

Everybody thinks that Tourette's syndrome is just people getting angry for no reason and shouting out swear words.
But guess what? It's not. Not at all.
Tourette's syndrome is a mental disorder, usually diagnosed in an individual before their eighteenth birthday. It consists of uncontrollable motor movements and muscle spasms/jerks. The most... (more)

This is me.

I always feel so depressed. i just want to cry my eyes out forever, i dont know what to do...

Day in day out

I wonder what life would be like without chronic pain, anxiety, and insomnia.

Silly weight stuff

I'm horribly ill atm. Seeing a haemotologist/oncologist soon.
One of the side effects of my illness is weightloss.
Given I only got out of hospital october last year, after being forced to go to get treatment for my eating disorder (BMI of about 14), losing weight is awesome.
BUT, surprisingly losing weight unintentially when you're... (more)

I Need Help

I'm only 11male and this summer the doctors think that I just got really dehydrated but I was playing wow on my laptop and my mom told me to take a shower so as I was ** I looked in the mirror and noticed that boos was mixed in with my precum and a drop was dropping out so I got really scared... (more)

I want to be happy with myself.

I'm not happy with my weight. I'm about 5' 1.5" and approximately 130 pounds. I admit that I would like to lose weight fast... but not in an un- healthy way. To be honest, I want to be able to be happy with what I look like and I would love to look fantastic for my senior year!(: Help? Oh, and school starts in a week.

Anorexic

My younger sister is jealous of how skinny I am. She always says to me "Why are you smaller than me? Why can't I be skinny like you?" But she doesn't know that I stopped eating for months. I'm scared she'll end up like me.

I like it when my friend burps

My friend burps alot and it really really turns me on. The sound that he makes is so appealing for some reason. It's almost sounds like he's gagging on something.

Ihate myself.

I hate my body. I hate the rolls and the wobbly bits. I'm not exactly fat, but in my eyes I'm not skinny either. I just despise myself every time I look in the mirror and constantly compare myself to others.
Tonight as the first time I made myself throw up. I have been trying for ages, but tonight I was successful. I have been starving Myself... (more)

Itoxicated

Iwas drunk at a friends house. It was just me, her, and one other girl. I was pretty gone by the time we were going to sleep. But I got up once they fell asleep and went downstairs and cut myself. I got blood on her pillow and the shorts I borrowed from her. I know she knew because my wrist wasn't covered when she woke me up and it was too (more)

I it all over?

Arecent CT scan revealed a swelling in my pancreatic head area. Tomorrow the doctors are to perform an endoscopic ultrasound. Everything I've looked up so far about swollen pancreas looks scary and bad. My family is completely unaware. I am so stressed out

Self destruction

I've been trying to kill myself for the past year now. Not with a rope or a gun. I did once with pills, but I didn't have enough. But since other ways are so messy and obvious. I just don't eat anymore. I cut, but never deep enough. It is comforting to know that if I did hit a vein, I wouldn't care. This confession sounds very whiny, like I want... (more)

Under pressure.

I stopped taking my blood pressure medication.

I hate them

I hate my ** and wish I didn't have any I don't feel comfortable with then being there I have even thought of cutting them of at times because of how upset and ugly they make me feel I want them gone completely I'm not old enough to purchase a binder but I can't wait any longer to get rid of them I... (more)

I have SAD

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder [winter depression] and I'm scared to seek help. I haven't had any suicidal thoughts[i think] but I do think about death alot during the winter months, and I have tried to find a way to go into a coma, just until it was all over.[I guess that does count as suicidal] I don't know who to trust, because those who I... (more)

My eating disorder ruined my life

I end all of my relationships in fear someone will know how sick I really am.
I dropped out of college because I didn't feel skinny enough to expose myself around campus.
I spend 90% of the day thinking about how much I hate myself, and how badly I'd like to kill myself with the only thing holding me back being fear of the unknown.
10... (more)

Please

Dear universe,
I know that people say bargaining witg you is heedless, but I truly believe in karama, so please just let me appeal to you. I know I'm not perfect but I try my very hardest everyday to be the beat I can be and help others to the best of my ability. Tonight was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Please I'm begging you... (more)

I'm a fatty

About 2 years ago when the gal of my dreams aand I got married she started feeding me more each day and if she's pregnant she makes me stuff my face when I met her I was 19 and weighed about 211 and now I am 26 and I weigh 549 someone help me!!!!!!!!

Inverted **

I have inverted ** and ive never even told anyone except my mom and i wont even take my shirt off in front of my bf so does anyone know what i can do to get over being so embarassed or how i could tell my bf

Closing a door.

Alright, so before you read this, there's something you need to know:
If there were ANY other options at this point, and I mean ANY, then I wouldn't do this. I've realized how...depraved and weak this path is, but there's no more choices or chances to make things right. I can't do anything else. I don't want attention, and I don't want a... (more)

I scar myself

I can't leave myself alone whenever I get zits. I always have to pick each one I get several times, because there's just something so irresistible about picking dry, scabby skin. Because of this, I usually make what were initially small holes into bigger more raw holes, and sometimes all that picking in one spot leaves me with a scar that takes... (more)

Cancer

A few days ago I found out that I had lukemea. I'm only 15 and I'm really scared what might happen.

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